


Mark Time

by Sunflower_Smile



Series: Sun Cloud ⛅️ [4]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Awkward Mark Lee (NCT), Cuddling & Snuggling, Drunk Mark Lee, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Kissing, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan & Mark Lee Are Best Friends, Light Angst, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Making Out, Mark Lee is horny, Mark Lee is lonely, Oral Sex, Sad Mark Lee (NCT), Soft Kim Jungwoo (NCT), yanghyuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:01:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 24,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28850994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sunflower_Smile/pseuds/Sunflower_Smile
Summary: Mark is working on not letting Haechan and Yangyang’s relationship bother him but he overhears something he can’t get out of his mind. Now he’s faced with the root of his issues and a new tempting opportunity. Mark has to figure himself out.It’s Mark’s Time.(I was lowkey inspired by the relay cam and now it’s snowballed into a monster of a story lol)
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Lee Taeyong, Kim Jungwoo/Mark Lee (NCT), Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Liu Yang Yang, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Series: Sun Cloud ⛅️ [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2080071
Comments: 61
Kudos: 190





	1. New Opportunity

**Author's Note:**

> Clearly I cannot stop, so this series is continuing for now with a new story following Mark this time. Yanghyuck will still be present ❤️

Mark exhaled sharply, his breath shaky as he opened his eyes again to stare at the blank ceiling. Nothing particularly interesting about it except that it seemed to spin slowly every time Mark attempted to sit up, so he stayed in the same position he had been in for the last half hour at least, laying unmoving on the floor of his room. Maybe it was half an hour... maybe more, he wasn’t sure anymore. 

The room had been so quiet this whole time that when he heard the creak of the door opening his whole body nearly levitated. In reality he barely moved because of the numb state he was in, his head slowly fell to the side to see who would be so lucky to see Mark like this. 

“Hey Mark,” Jungwoo whispered with his typical soft spoken tone, eyes wide, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Mark managed to squeak out, his voice hoarse and almost unrecognizable as if he hadn’t spoken in months. He was too lazy to even move his head back to its original position so it stayed there, his eyes not looking at Jungwoo, just spacing out looking at nothing, glossing over. 

“Um are you sure,” Jungwoo laughed nervously, “Do you maybe need help getting up?”

“I’m comfortable,” Mark retorted. It was mostly true, he had been dizzy and laid on his bed earlier but the room was spinning so fast nearly making him nauseous so his solution was to lay with his back flat on the floor, at least he couldn’t fall this way. 

“How long have you been there?” Jungwoo asked, kind and soft as always without judgement in his voice. 

“I’m not sure, I felt sick so I laid down. I feel kind of better though,” Mark groaned finally attempting to lift his head. 

Jungwoo quickly came over helping Mark lean on him so he could sit up. He groaned as he sat up not realizing how stiff his back had become. 

“Do you want some medicine?” Jungwoo gently petted Mark’s head. 

“No... just water,” Mark answered with a cough, his throat extremely parched. 

“Okay wait here,” Jungwoo scrambled to his feet and dashed out the door. Mark blinked a couple of times looking around his room finally, everything was in its place and the spinning stopped but there was a tinge in the back of his head teasing a future headache. He reached up to cup his head in his hands, jumping a bit at the cold touch of his own fingers. 

“Does your head hurt?” Jungwoo was back, crouching down to meet Mark’s eyes and hand him a water bottle. 

“No it’s okay, thank you,” Mark did not hesitate to chug nearly half of the water bottle despite his stomach warning him that it was still full of the alcohol he’d consumed earlier. 

“Come on, let’s lay down in bed,” Jungwoo grabbed Mark’s arm again to help him to his feet as Mark stumbled a bit regaining his ability to move his own limbs. He didn’t try to fight it, he had no strength to, so he let Jungwoo lead him as they both laid down in Mark’s bed, Jungwoo immediately curling into Mark’s side as he often did. 

“Why are you day drinking Mark?” Jungwoo asked lazily, comfortable in his new position with his eyes closed as if he was ready to nap. 

“I’m not.”

“You are, I can smell it and it’s only three in the afternoon.”

“It was just wine,” Mark groaned, “Johnny gave it to me to try.”

“Key word, Mark, ‘try’ not drown in it in one sitting,” Jungwoo sighed, his voice still reassuring that he didn’t mean to nag. 

“I know, I just...”

“Is this about Haechan again?” Jungwoo’s eyes fluttered open to search Mark’s face, worriedly. 

“No. I told you I’m over it.”

“Yeah you said you were over it weeks ago and then you cried to Haechan and almost ruined his relationship. Then I thought you guys talked about things last week and yet you’re here still drinking and laying on the floor... I’m just worried. I’m not trying to make you feel bad, I just don’t want you to die from alcohol poisoning. You know you can talk to me,” Jungwoo reached out to stroke Mark’s cheek. 

Mark sighed heavily, eyes to the ceiling, “I was feeling fine about it, really I was. I feel like we had a good talk but I can’t help but to think about him sometimes. And then I feel guilty for thinking about it because I never gave this thought after our breakup, not until he started liking Yangyang... which makes me an asshole.”

“Don’t say that!”

“It’s true,” Mark sighed again. 

“It’s the first time you’re having to see an ex date someone right in front of you, especially when you guys are all friends and co-workers. Really Mark, you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. Even if you’re completely over Haechan romantically, it’s a hard situation to be in.”

“Thanks,” Mark finally managed a half smile, “I didn’t mean to drink, you know...”

“Did something happen?”

“Um, promise you won’t say anything,” Mark turned his head to slightly face Jungwoo, eyes pleading. 

“I swear,” Jungwoo replied with earnest. 

“I was fine, for real. After we talked I was working through my feelings and realizing a lot of it was loneliness and not dealing with the past. Anyway I was in a good mood and Taeyong was up here and said Haechan and Yangyang were hanging out downstairs so I decided to bring some cookies and see if we could hang out together.”

“Like a peace offering?”

“Yeah sure... so I went and it seemed like no one was there at first but then I heard talking inside Haechan’s room and I figured they were gaming but I got closer and...” Mark shook his head, bringing his hands up to cover his face. 

“Oh no...”

“Yeah...” Mark cringed remembering the shrill sound of Haechan’s high pitched moan followed by other embarrassing sounds coming from both Haechan and Yangyang behind the bedroom door he was way too close to. He froze in place unable to run away or spontaneously combust from the initial shock. Eventually he made his escape without anyone finding him, thank goodness.

“So that sound is kind of stuck in my head. I tried to forget about it but I couldn’t so I got drunk that night.”

“And every night since?”

“Not every night. Just anytime it sneaks into my brain. What’s worse is... nevermind,” Mark flushed realizing he was being too honest. 

“What?” Jungwoo craned his neck, “I won’t judge.”

It’s true, Jungwoo is one of those friends you can tell your dirtiest secrets to and he won’t ever make you feel like shit for it. He’ll tease you sometimes but never to hurt you, his whole presence is comforting. 

“Well... I was kind of taking a shower this morning and you know, a feeling arose...”

Jungwoo laughed, “You were jacking off?”

“Yeah,” Mark mumbled embarrassed, “I wasn’t thinking of anything but suddenly that sound got inside my brain just as I was coming... and so yeah I had to drink a whole bottle of wine after that.”

“To be honest with you Mark this doesn’t sound like a love problem anymore. I think you’re just horny.”

“Thanks dude,” Mark groaned shutting his eyes tight. 

“No, this is a good thing!”

“What? _How?_ ” Mark scrunched his nose looking at Jungwoo with a confused look. 

“Because there’s a simple fix, you just gotta fuck somebody,” Jungwoo smiled, quite pleased with his solution. 

“Oh right, let me just pull out my list of side hoes ready to go at it,” Mark rolled his eyes, jutting his elbow into Jungwoo. 

“Why are you so dramatic? Just hook up with somebody here,” Jungwoo replied nonchalantly, gently nudging Mark back and sinking further into the covers pulling them up to his chin. 

Mark looked at Jungwoo completely bewildered and almost fearful of how casually Jungwoo could say something like that, “I—I have to pee,” Mark paused briefly making sure the room wasn’t going to start spinning again. 

“Have fun,” Jungwoo breathed out, looking almost half asleep. 

Mark stumbled into the bathroom still in shock at what Jungwoo had proposed, hooking up with a member? Wasn’t it bad enough the mess that had been made up until then? What if he dated another member and they broke up too? There was enough drama to deal with as it is. Mark was momentarily distracted from his dilemma by the relieving feeling of emptying his bladder, it was probably the longest pee of his life thanks to the wise decision of consuming an entire wine bottle in one sitting. 

“So?” Jungwoo was sitting up now, iPad in his lap when Mark came back. 

“So what?” Mark groaned. 

“Are you gonna do it?”

“No dude! Don’t you think there’s enough couples in NCT?”

“Do you know something I don’t?” Jungwoo cocked his head to the side. 

“I mean me and Haechan dated, now him and Yangyang...”

“That’s... a lot?”

“Well also I think Taeyong and Doyoung might be dating. There’s no way those are _friendship_ rings.”

“Okay so? I never said to date somebody, just fuck somebody so that you can get it out of your system.”

Mark was in awe of how simple Jungwoo’s mind worked, “Why a member?”

“Well for one you said you don’t have side hoes to call up, for two it’s corona time and it’d just be easier,” Jungwoo shrugged. 

“I—”

Jungwoo sighed clearly realizing he was going to have to walk Mark through every step, “Okay, what about Johnny? You guys are close right?”

“Ew, yeah but like my brother... besides I think he’s hooking up with Ten.”

“What about Yuta? You guys flirt all the time!”

“No... that’s just jokes. Plus I’m pretty sure he’s seeing someone right now,” Mark rubbed the stubble on his chin, “How can I even know who’d be down?”

“Are you kidding? I’m pretty sure most of us are a little bit gay,” Jungwoo replied not looking up from whatever he was doing on his iPad. 

“Wh—what?” Mark stuttered, “Are you?”

“Duh, I don’t really like limiting myself. I just like whoever I like, whether it’s a boy or girl or whatever.”

“Wow.”

“Is that surprising?” Jungwoo looked up. 

“No it’s just I’m realizing that me and Haechan used to worry about our sexuality and all this time there were other people,” Mark laughed letting his shoulders drop. 

“Sorry, I guess I should’ve told you. I thought it was obvious,” Jungwoo cocked his head in thought, “Hey, I have an idea!”

“What is it?”

“We could totally hook up!” Jungwoo exclaimed. 

Mark nearly choked, sputtering before getting a hold of himself, “ _What_?”

“It’s just an idea. It’s okay if you don’t want to.”

“Um.”

“Do you?”

“I— I don’t know,” Mark shuddered nervously. 

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, I just want to help if I can,” it was unbelievable how innocently Jungwoo said these things. 

“I— I’m a virgin,” Mark dared to look in Jungwoo’s direction waiting for the roast of a lifetime. 

“That’s okay!” Jungwoo smiled, Mark sighed a breath of relief, “I can help if you wanna work up to it?” 

At this point Mark was completely shaking, maybe because of nervousness but mostly because the thought of crossing that line with Jungwoo was actually really tempting, more than Mark could’ve ever guessed. Jungwoo was right, Mark was _definitely_ horny, just the thought of getting intimate with someone was already making his body react. 

“Come over here,” Jungwoo patted the bed, setting his iPad down on the dresser. Mark hesitated but then assured himself, Jungwoo is his friend there’s nothing to be afraid of. He settled down back on his own bed next to a smiling Jungwoo, “I’ll only make a move if you want me to, no pressure.”

Mark sat awkwardly blinking trying to think of a reason to say no, ‘he’s my member’ ‘we’re too good of friends’ ‘we live together’ ‘it’ll be awkward’, but none of those reasons seemed good enough. Damn it, horniness really does cloud your judgement, “Yes,” he whispered. 

“Yes what?” Jungwoo whispered back. 

“I want to,” Mark’s breathing was already quickening. 

“Okay, tell me if you want to stop at any point, I promise I won’t be mad,” Of course Jungwoo had to be the perfect gentle person to be able to deal with Mark’s shyness. 

“Okay,” Mark nodded. His breath shook again as he felt Jungwoo come close, his warm breath tickling Mark’s cheek. Mark was sitting up on the bed, back to the wall, feet crossed and hands limp at his sides. Jungwoo’s body pressed against Mark’s side as he pressed a gentle kiss to Mark’s neck making his head fall back and a small moan gurgle in his throat. 

“Wow, you’re easy,” Jungwoo teased with a breathy laugh. 

Mark groaned, “I’m not... I’m not good at this.”

“It’s not a bad thing,” Jungwoo whispered in Mark’s ear, making all his baby hairs stand up, “I wanna be the reason you make more sounds like that.”

Mark bit his lip, how was it so easy for Jungwoo to get him riled up with just one kiss and a few words? There was no denying it now, Mark definitely needs to get laid. 

In a flash Jungwoo climbed over to straddle Mark and bent down to finally kiss him on the lips. It was like electricity went through Jungwoo to Mark making his brain go completely blank, nothing but the thought of how pillowy soft Jungwoo’s lips were. Jungwoo kissed slowly, carefully, allowing paused moments for Mark to back out if he wanted to, but he didn’t. Instead Mark kissed back, trying his best to not expose how desperate he was for someone to touch him like this. 

Mark had kissed people before but NOT like this, Jungwoo lips were so soft and plump but it’s the way he slowly teased, sighing with every movement of his lips against Mark’s. It was driving Mark crazy, in a matter of minutes he was fully drenched in sweat trying to stay in control but failing when his hips pushed against Jungwoo’s crotch wanting the friction between them so bad. 

Jungwoo laughed softly against Mark’s lips, “Don’t hold back Mark,” He said as he rolled his hips against Mark’s, gaining a gasp, “Do what feels good.”

Mark couldn’t reply with words anymore instead he moaned into Jungwoo’s neck wrapping his arms around his waist pulling Jungwoo even closer and pulling his hips down to grind against his own. 

“O-oh Mark,” Jungwoo whined, breath shaky. 

“Don’t,” Mark groaned. 

“Don’t what,” Jungwoo’s soft, teasing voice dripped with honey hanging on every word. 

“Don’t say my name like that,” Mark choked out. Jungwoo pushed his hands against the wall to guide them lower on the bed so Mark was finally laying down. 

Jungwoo leaned down to nibble on Mark’s ear, rolling his hips again, “You mean like this; _Mark_ ,” he moaned directly into Mark’s ear, pleased by the shivers it sent through Mark’s body. 

“Fu-uck,” Mark cried out meeting Jungwoo’s hip movements with his own, the feeling of their hardening dicks through the soft material of their sweatpants sending shocks through him. 

He would’ve came right then and there, so easily if Jungwoo didn’t abruptly stop to push off of Mark and lower himself so that those plump lips were now teasing Mark’s abdomen, right where his happy trail started. At first he blew soft breaths, looking up to see Mark’s reactions, quickly graduating to kisses eventually landing on top of Mark’s bulge. 

“Please,” Mark whined, eyes wired shut, his hands digging into the bed sheets desperately. Luckily Jungwoo is a giving angel, not one to prolong the torture on a beginner. He immediately pulled Mark’s sweatpants and underwear down, taking his hard cock into his soft hand admiring its beauty. 

“Mark you’re so pretty, look at me,” Jungwoo demanded. Mark gathered any strength he could find to prop himself up and look down at Jungwoo hovering over his dick, he placed a soft kiss on the tip, “You’re gonna be even prettier when you’re cumming in my mouth,” Jungwoo’s typical tone was gone, he still spoke softly but an octave lower, sounding so hungry. 

Mark’s hand flew over his mouth, muffling what sounded like a scream as Jungwoo curled his lips around Mark’s dick and sunk all the way down. Jungwoo moved back up to where only Mark’s tip was in his mouth and swiped his tongue in circles and teased his opening, he popped off and scattered kisses all around the shaft before taking it all in again. 

Jungwoo grabbed Mark’s hands to guide them into his own hair and Mark immediately gripped tightly with Jungwoo setting a steady rhythm bobbing his head up and down. If it was with somebody else Jungwoo might’ve teased for a much longer time but he knew how much Mark just needed release so he put his best work in, his hand at the base rotating following the direction of his mouth as he sucked. 

“Please please please,” Mark whined loudly, apparently not caring if anyone could hear him, he was too busy chasing his high, “Oh my god, PLEASE— I can’t Jungwoo I ca— ah” Mark was squirming, so close and Jungwoo complied, continuing his pace. 

“Fuck!” Mark shot up with no warning, holding Jungwoo’s head against his hips shooting down his throat, bent over breathing heavy and shaking with his orgasm. He quickly realized how tight his hold was and that Jungwoo probably couldn’t breathe, he realeased his grip and pulled Jungwoo off of his now limp dick, “Oh my god, I’m sorry,” He looked down at Jungwoo’s red face, coughing up some of Mark’s cum. 

“It’s okay,” Jungwoo breathed out heavily, “That was hot,” he coughed out a laugh. 

“I didn’t mean to hold you there,” Mark leaned back on his hands, completely tired out. 

“It was hot Mark, don’t be sorry.”

“Should I— I can help you too,” Mark offered. 

Jungwoo sat up laughing at Mark and pinching his cheek, “It’s okay Mark, I just wanted to make sure YOU felt good today.”

“But... I feel bad if I’m the only one who got off,” Mark lowered his eyes sheepishly. 

“Lucky for you, your moans are so sexy that I came just from hearing you,” Jungwoo stretched his arms up with a sound of relief. 

“No way,” Mark could not believe that Jungwoo could come from that. 

“Yes way! Look,” Jungwoo pulled the front of his sweatpants down to show off the wetness of his boxers proudly. 

“Whoah,” Mark gasped, “You’re so fucking hot.”

“I know,” Jungwoo jumped to his feet to discard his boxers and pants into his dirty clothes bin, wiping himself clean before putting on a new pair of sweatpants and falling into the extra bed, yawning and stretching his arms cutely again. 

Mark still sat there in disbelief, the way Jungwoo was so casual about it all, even changing in front of him nonchalantly and ready for a nap as if it was just an every day occurrence. 

Several minutes passed before Mark finally spoke, “I’m gonna shower,” He glanced at Jungwoo who was completely snuggled into his sheets. 

“Okay, have fun. Next time we can try something different,” Jungwoo giggled, sighing into his pillow. 

Mark walked in a trance to the bathroom unsure if he could even hold himself up properly. ‘Next time?’ Mark thought, is this a thing that’s going to happen now, often? Just the thought made him tremble, his legs almost giving out under him. 

Mark was on autopilot, thoughts racing, wondering what else Jungwoo was good at, remembering that he hasn’t even seen Jungwoo naked yet and he’s already a mess for him. Fuck. 

One thing’s for sure. Haechan and Yangyang are the furthest thing from Mark’s mind now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was inspired by the 24 hr cam relay 💀


	2. Johnny’s Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark is feeling weird after his hook up with Jungwoo, he goes to Johnny for comfort.

Mark was drumming his fingers on the table before getting up to pace again, glancing down at his phone even though he had just checked it thirty seconds earlier. He sighed, wondering what the fuck Johnny could be doing to not reply to him right away, a selfish thought, sure, but considering the circumstances Mark didn’t have time to think clearly anymore. It’d been a few days since his rendezvous with Jungwoo and as soon as the trance wore off the dread set in: he’d just hooked up with one of his best friends. Luckily he busied himself as much as he could with getting back into the studio to work on tracks for their upcoming album. 

He was pacing in one of the practice studios awaiting Johnny’s reply to his urgent message:

 **Dude, please tell me you’re home and I can come over.**

He’d done his best to avoid Jungwoo for the most part but now he was too tired from over practicing nearly every night, he just wanted to go home and rest. But the day was young, which meant he’d likely run into Jungwoo, he knew he’d face him eventually but not right now. Not when he can’t stop thinking about Jungwoo sucking the life out of his dick, just the thought made all of the blood in his body gather at his cheeks. 

Finally his phone dinged and he nearly shot it clean off the table with how quick he snatched it. 

**Johnny: I am. Come whenever, and bring me coffee while you’re at it 😛**

A sigh of relief. One more day he wouldn’t have to deal with his newfound situation. He quickly rushed out of the studio to the nearest Starbucks and then off to the fifth floor dorm. 

“Hey dude,” Johnny greeted half heartedly, he had his eyes on the iced coffee in Mark’s hand. 

“Hey,” Mark paused, his hand still in the air gripping nothing and glaring at Johnny for snatching the coffee so hastily. Johnny didn’t notice, he was too busy nearly chugging a third of his drink. 

Mark sighed and trudged over to the living room to sit down, “Is it okay if I stay here tonight?”

“Why? You literally live a few floors up,” Johnny replied, still focused on his coffee. 

“Just… because I want to,” Mark avoided Johnny’s now interested gaze. 

“Is something wrong?” Johnny set his almost empty cup down. 

“Can’t I just stay here because I want to?” Mark’s voice came out sharper than he intended making Johnny’s head shoot back in surprise. 

“Of course you can, but clearly something is bothering you since you have an attitude,” Johnny shot back. 

“I don’t have an attitude. I’ll go to Wayv’s dorm, sorry to bother you,” Mark stood up with a huff. 

“Dude,” Johnny rested his hand on Mark’s shoulder, looking at him wide eyed while Mark stared back, his harsh demeanor one second away from faltering, “Tell me what’s wrong,” He coaxed gently. 

Mark’s shoulders fell instantly, “I can’t,” he shrugged sadly. 

“Come on, let’s listen to some music. You want a drink?”

“No!” Mark spit out, “...Sorry I didn’t mean to yell, no thanks. I’ve been drinking too much.”

“Are you feeling stressed out?” Johnny petted Mark’s head, “Depressed maybe? It’s okay to talk about it.”

“It’s nothing like that,” Mark leaned into Johnny’s touch, feeling guilty for snapping at him, “I’m just stupid, I make the dumbest decisions.”

“Come on,” Johnny grabbed Mark’s hand and pulled him into his room ordering Mark to sit on his bed before leaving the room again. Mark sat slightly confused, glancing to the side to see Haechan’s bed slightly unkempt and empty, ‘He must be with Yangyang at the WayV dorm’, Mark thought. He’d totally forgotten about them and the sound that had bored a hole in his brain, even now as he remembered the reason why his hookup with Jungwoo even happened he couldn’t recall. His mind flipped through the memories but the only sound it summoned for Mark was the way Jungwoo sighed when he rocked against Mark. He didn’t even realize his eyes were closed until Johnny’s hand on his forehead shocked them open. 

“You don’t have a fever,” Johnny stated. 

“Obviously. I’m not sick,” Mark groaned. 

“I’m just making sure, here you go,” Johnny offered Mark a mug, steam rising and hitting his face followed by a rosy scent. 

“What is it?” Mark sniffed. 

“It’s tea, it’ll help you relax.”

“Thanks,” Mark took the mug, resting it on his knees that were brought up to his chest and letting the warmth rise from his cup to hit his face. 

“You wanna talk? If not that’s cool, we can just vibe to some music.”

Mark took a careful sip of his tea, flinching with the heat hitting his tongue, “I guess I should.”

“No pressure, only if you want to.”

Mark’s eyes started watering, he wasn’t even sure why. Maybe because what Johnny said was what Jungwoo assured just days ago. He couldn’t put a finger on why it upset him, Jungwoo made it abundantly clear he could stop whenever he wanted to but now… with a clearer mind, not fogged by horniness he wasn’t sure it was the best idea to take up Jungwoo’s offer. 

“It’s okay if you wanna cry,” Johnny soothed. 

“I’m not,” Mark sniffed, attempting to keep his voice from shaking. 

“I know you guys talked things out but… it’s okay to not be okay. You know what I mean? Sometimes feelings linger or resurface, it happens,” Johnny spoke each word carefully, afraid of Mark’s reaction. 

“This isn’t about Haechan.”

“Oh.”

“I was fine.”

“Okay, I believe you.”

“Mostly, anyway. I came to see Haechan a couple of weeks ago and I kind of overheard him and Yangyang.”

“Ohh,” Johnny nodded. 

“That’s not why I’m upset. I started drinking but only because I couldn’t get the sound out of my head. Jungwoo found me drunk on the floor and I told him what happened. He said I didn’t have a love problem but a horny problem and I should just hook up with someone.”

“Fucking idiot,” Johnny rolled his eyes, “Not you,” Johnny reassured, “Jungwoo’s the idiot for suggesting something like that when you’re vulnerable.” 

“Well…”

“Wait, _you listened to him?!_ ”

“I didn’t mean to. I told him I had no options for a hook up and then he started suggesting I hook up with a member because it’s more convenient…”

“Fuck,” Johnny exhaled sharply, frustrated, “Who?”

“Jungwoo.”

“I’m gonna beat the shit out of him,” Johnny started to stand. 

“He didn’t force me or anything, Johnny. I decided to do it and—“

“And what?”

“...and I liked it, Jungwoo was perfectly gentle and patient with me. I had fun, so why do I feel like shit now?” Mark swallowed, eyes starting to sting. 

“I— I don’t know,” Johnny softened again.

“Have you ever hooked up with a friend?”

“Uh, maybe?”

“Johnny.”

“Yeah I have…” Johnny scratched the back of his neck. 

“Okay so you know the feeling then?” 

“Not what you’re feeling. Listen, some people have casual sex and it totally works for them. But other people use sex to fill a void and end up feeling more empty than they did before.”

Mark nodded slowly, eyes down. 

“Plus I’m guessing you don’t have a lot of experience? Sex can just be sex but sometimes, especially when you’re new to it, it creates an emotional connection which can be confusing,” Johnny sighed, “I don’t know, maybe I’m not making sense.”

“It makes sense,” Mark whispered. 

“Okay I’m gonna tell you something…” Johnny hesitated, catching Mark’s attention. 

“Okay?”

“So… I have a friend I started having a casual fling with...”

“Who, Ten?” Mark guessed jokingly. Except Johnny didn’t laugh, he froze, his ears burning crimson red. 

“Wait, seriously?”

“Are we that obvious?” Johnny almost stuttered. 

“No, it’s just something Haechan said in passing once. I wasn’t being serious,” Mark was in awe, momentarily distracted from his emotions. 

“Oh. Well it’s true.”

Mark nodded, eyes wide. 

“We’ve always been best friends and it seemed like a good idea because we trust each other and we both wanted something physical but we were too busy at the time to meet anyone to date. So we started a casual thing, except I definitely had feelings for him. I ignored it and it was fine for a while but things started getting awkward because I was falling for him even more and trying to hide it. Eventually I broke down one day after I said ‘I love you’ during sex,” Johnny laughed awkwardly. 

“Ew dude.”

“Sorry. So we had a talk and fortunately Ten felt the same way… but do you see how easily it can get messy? If he didn’t feel the same way, I would’ve been heartbroken and our friendship would be gone.”

“Wait a minute. So you guys are together? What the fuck?”

“Yeah.”

“And you didn’t tell me?”

“Well the hooking up was a secret… we thought it was better that way, its been going on for like maybe a year total. I was gonna tell you when we made it a real thing but we wanted to wait to get used to being in a relationship without everyone eyeing us. It’s only been official since September, I thought I’d wait a couple of months but then you got caught up with Haechan’s drama and it didn’t feel right to tell you then.”

“Oh wow. Well thanks for that shock, I’m fully distracted from my own problems now,” Mark managed half a chuckle. 

“Glad I could help,” Johnny replied, still gently, “So do you think you feel weird because you have feelings for Jungwoo or because you’re running away from feelings for someone else?” 

“I don’t know, it’s just weird. I’ve never seen Jungwoo in that light until now. I’m not sure what I want.”

“It’s okay to not know but I think it’d help to talk to Jungwoo at least. Try to sort out how you feel. It’s not fair to leave him hanging if he’s unaware you’re feeling this way.”

“I know… I wanted to avoid it as long as I could.”

“Well don’t put it off too long. You can stay here tonight and sleep on it but promise me you’ll try to talk to him tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Mark rubbed his temples. There was no more avoiding it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are appreciated, I’m not 100% sure where this is going yet or how long it’ll be 🥺


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m just saying you should rest before we start working like crazy again, especially since you’re going to be busy with Dream and—“
> 
> “I KNOW,” Mark interjected slamming his spoon down. He looked up to see everyone turned, looking at him in stunned silence. Doyoung’s mouth opened to say something but nothing came out.

“Waaaake up,” Hot breath tickled Mark’s ear prompting him to push away whoever was disturbing his peaceful sleep. 

“Ugh get away from me,” He put his hand to his ear, trying to rub the unwelcome warmth away and squinting his eyes open to see Haechan hovering over him, a big grin plastered on his face. 

“You’re in MY bed,” Haechan pushed back. 

“Oh, my bad,” Mark sat up, remembering where he was blinking several times before fully opening his eyes. 

“It’s fine, I actually was waking you up to see if you wanted breakfast. I made some seaweed soup and veggie pancakes, or I could make you some eggs?” Haechan focused on Mark awaiting a response. 

“Um yeah, I’ll have whatever you made. I’ll be right out,” Mark ran his fingers through his hair as Haechan gave him a quick ‘okay’ and disappeared from the room. He sat for a moment remembering what Johnny advised him to do, but it was still the last thing he wanted to deal with. He sighed, getting up to wash his face and brush his teeth and meet his members in the kitchen. 

“Good morning, or afternoon rather,” Johnny quipped, throwing an arm around Mark as soon as he emerged, walking with him the rest of the ten steps it took to reach the dining table. 

Mark glanced at the clock by the fridge reading 12:10 PM. A pretty normal time for him to wake up on a day with no schedules. 

Haechan jumped up quickly to serve Mark a bowl of seaweed soup, a small bowl of rice, and pointed at the veggie pajeon in the middle of the table, half eaten already by the other members at the table. 

“Thanks,” Mark said in Haechan’s direction, “Morning guys,” He addressed the others, barely looking around realizing it was Yangyang, Doyoung, and Johnny. 

“Hey sleepyhead,” Yangyang grinned at him, Mark almost wanted to hate him for it only because he wished he could manage a smile that looked like he had no care in the world. 

Mark nodded back, digging into his food immediately. 

A few minutes of mindless chatter passed before Doyoung nudged Mark with his finger.

“Glad you’re taking a day off Mark, I heard you’ve been at the studio all week. The songs are fine, you know, we’ll make adjustments once we all start recording,” Doyoung spouted off. 

Mark didn’t respond right away, he busied himself with devouring his food with lightning speed. 

“You've worked hard enough on writing and stuff, please take it easy,” Doyoung continued.

“I wanted to work on a couple of the demos and melodies so recording goes smoother and I was brushing up on choreography too,” Mark shrugged, not really in the mood to be nagged at even though Doyoung meant well. 

“I’m just saying you should rest before we start working like crazy again, especially since you’re going to be busy with Dream and—“

“I KNOW,” Mark interjected slamming his spoon down. He looked up to see everyone turned, looking at him in stunned silence. Doyoung’s mouth opened to say something but nothing came out. 

“Sorry,” Mark mumbled embarrassed, breathing deeply to let his shoulders drop. 

All their heads whipped to Doyoung who managed an, “It’s alright.”

“Are you—“ Haechan started. 

“Sorry, I gotta go,” Mark stood up avoiding every pair of eyes on him, “Sorry.”

“Mark…” Doyoung called after him, but he dashed out of the dorm before anyone could say anything else. 

Mark pushed the elevator’s up button, wiping his sweaty hands on his pajama pants. He caught his reflection through the elevator door, a stressed out mess with bed hair looking back at him. He bit his lip, breath shaky as he made up his mind. He had to talk to Jungwoo. Now. ASAP. Before this spiraled out of control. 

-

“Yo…” Jaehyun looked up from his bed, he’d been listening to music and relaxing and clearly Mark interrupted his peaceful time. 

“Oh… is Jungwoo not here,” Mark glanced at Jungwoo’s empty bed making a statement rather than really asking a question. 

Jaehyun raised an eyebrow and craned his neck, “He stayed in your room, are you high?” 

Mark didn’t reply, he turned on his heel and headed to his own room. Why was Jungwoo in there? Was he waiting for Mark to come home this whole time?

He placed a shaky hand on the doorknob and breathed in, reminding himself this is Jungwoo. His friend. One of his best friends in the whole world, it shouldn’t be scary. He exhaled and pushed open his bedroom door. 

Jungwoo stirred hearing Mark make his way in, “Hi Marky poo, I missed you.”

“I— I missed you too,” Mark spoke softly. 

“Why didn’t you come home last night? I waited up for you.”

“Why?”

Jungwoo pushed the blanket out of his face, “I always do?”

A sharp pang of guilt went through Mark’s chest. Of course he waited for him, they always hung out doing meaningless every day activities together. Here Mark was actively avoiding him for no good reason while Jungwoo was blissfully unaware of anything being wrong. 

“Jungwoo…” Mark’s voice was already shaky. 

“Is something wrong?” Jungwoo’s baby-like pout turned into a worried frown. 

“I, um, I wanted to talk to you.”

Jungwoo nodded with curiosity waiting for Mark to continue but when he didn’t he asked, “Is it because of what we did the other day?”

“Yeah and I’m sorry, I know I’ve been avoiding you…”

“You have?” Realization came over Jungwoo, his gaze falling before turning to Mark again, “Why?”

“I don’t know, I was feeling weird about it,” Mark stepped closer sitting at the edge of the bed. 

“Like awkward? I get that getting your dick sucked by your friend can be weird but I thought we were close enough to talk about things,” Jungwoo looked at Mark with worried eyes. 

“We are. It’s just me,” Mark shook his head, “I don’t know. Afterwards I felt like I did something I shouldn’t have done and I was feeling guilty about it…”

“Wh-what?” Jungwoo’s voice cracked, “I... I told you to stop me if you didn’t want to,” Jungwoo was sitting up now, panicked and voice shrill. 

“I— well—“ Mark stuttered. 

“So you avoided me not because you felt awkward but because… what? Did you think I’d pressure you to do it again? Or because you didn’t want to in the first place?” 

“No,” Mark broke, his face falling into his hands, tears refusing to stay in any longer. 

“No… you didn’t want to?” Jungwoo’s lip quivered, “I’m not—,” He shook his head like he was having a bad dream, “I’m not a bad person, I never meant to-“ Jungwoo shivered, blinking a mile a minute with tears rolling down his cheeks as he got up to escape,

“I’m sorry, Mark.”

“Wait,” Mark cried after him but Jungwoo was gone swinging the door behind him, slamming it in Mark’s face. 

That’s not what he meant to say but the damage was done. 

This new worse feeling replaced whatever Mark was feeling before. He threw his hand over his mouth rushing to the bathroom to throw up the breakfast he’d just eaten. Tears streamed harder as he heaved, finally he rested his head in his hands sitting on the floor, back against the wall when the worst was over. 

Now what...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I promise it’ll get better 😭


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It was never about not wanting to be close with you, because honestly that day was perfect, I made myself crazy by overthinking.”

‘I’ll have to leave the dorm forever and find a new life somewhere else far away, all the members are going to hate me’ Mark thought dramatically ‘How many more times can I fuck up?’ The dried tears on his cheek were met by new streams, ‘No, I messed up so many things and ran away instead of dealing with it, I can’t do the same thing again, especially not if it means losing Jungwoo forever’. 

Mark forced himself to stand and looked in the mirror. His eyes were strained from crying and up chucking all of the contents in his stomach. With shaky hands he rinsed his face and looked at himself with determination, he can’t continue like this. 

He peeked his head into the hallway, the dorm was eerily quiet. He shook, walking slowly to face the door to Jaehyun’s and Jungwoo’s room. There were so many reasons Mark could think of to run away, ‘what if Jaehyun was there and yelled at him’ ‘what if Jungwoo told him to get lost’ ‘what if, what if, what if’. But this is the reason he was even in this situation because he continually ignored dealing with his feelings until he became a mess. But its also a harsh truth that Mark in the process has hurt people and he has to face the reality of that no matter how much it hurts. 

“Jungwoo,” Mark squeaked out, his voice hoarse. He pushed the door open to see that thankfully Jaehyun wasn’t there, but his eyes landed on Jungwoo curled up in his bed almost completely covered in blankets. 

”Jungwoo,” Mark repeated with more strength. There was no response except for Jungwoo choking back small crying sounds. 

There was no way he could turn back now. Seeing Jungwoo sad like this shattered Mark’s entire heart, if there ever was a time to be honest and completely vulnerable it was now. He failed to do it in the past and almost lost Haechan and Yangyang as a result, even his friendship with Ten was strained at the time. It was time to be a big boy. 

Mark walked over and dropped to his knees next to Jungwoo’s bed, “Jungwoo, I’m so sorry. I absolutely did not mean what you thought I meant.”

“I wanted to help you,” Jungwoo whispered, shuddering with every word, “I would have never if I knew you didn’t want to,” Mark scrunched his face trying not to cry again despite Jungwoo’s shaking voice. 

“I know, I DID want to. I’m going to be as honest as I can right now which is scary as fuck because usually I avoid things and hope they disappear which I’m realizing makes me really selfish. And then when things go to shit I wallow in my own stress and turn myself into a victim,” Mark inhaled sharply, he was determined to say everything on his heart. Jungwoo stirred beneath his sheets, turning to face Mark and pulling the blanket just far enough to expose his red, puffy eyes. 

Mark continued, “I felt weird because, I don’t know, something about crossing the line of intimacy with someone close to me scares me. There’s so much pressure behind it because I don’t know what’s gonna happen, like if things will change in our friendship. Because once it changes, that’s a forever thing no matter what happens. Now that I’m saying it out loud it sounds dumb. I couldn’t even cross that line when I was dating Haechan, even though he was my boyfriend. I don’t know how everyone is so easy going about this stuff, but I guess I’ve made it this huge thing in my head. In reality things only changed because I ran away every time. I was so worried about my own feelings that I’ve hurt people. I hurt YOU. And I’m so so sorry. I can’t lose you, I just can’t. I couldn’t even be in NCT anymore if that happened,” Mark breathed out heavily, meeting Jungwoo’s eyes again. 

“It was never about not wanting to be close with you, because honestly that day was perfect, I messed up making myself crazy by overthinking.”

“I’m not mad at you Mark,” Jungwoo whispered, his mouth still covered by the sheets and a slight quiver still present in his voice, “I’m sad that you couldn’t talk to me… and that I thought I pushed you…”

“You didn’t,” Mark shook his head, reaching out to Jungwoo to reassure him, “I promise, you did nothing wrong. Me not being able to vocalize how I felt afterwards has nothing to do with you, which is why I feel even worse. You’re one of my best friends in the whole world and I should know that I can lean on you and trust you. I’m sorry I didn’t realize that earlier. I’ll do anything to fix this.”

Jungwoo pulled his blanket down to his neck and gave Mark a weak smile, “I just need a hug.”

Mark almost broke down again. Jungwoo could’ve wiped his hands clean of Mark and he would’ve understood, he could’ve swore at Mark and been justified. Instead Jungwoo was true to being his angel-like self. A hug? That was the easiest thing in the world. 

Mark lifted Jungwoo’s blanket and climbed into his bed, Jungwoo’s expression slightly surprised at the gesture. He shifted closer and wrapped his arms around Jungwoo’s waist and pulled himself close to rest his own cheek on Jungwoo’s, “Thank you,” Mark finally allowed his emotions to make their way back in, eyes stinging. 

“For what?” Jungwoo hummed softly. 

“For not being mad at me even though you have every right to be. For being so cuddly. For being perfect. For being you.”

“Hmm, thanks for the hug,” Jungwoo’s voice was so soft and tiny. 

Mark couldn’t help but laugh lightly, Jungwoo was truly an angel and a friend Mark felt undeserving of, “If that’s all you needed I’ll give you a million hugs.”

“Yes, you’re indebted to me for a million hugs, I’ll cash in a couple hundred of them today,” Jungwoo snuggled close, breathing softly against Mark’s neck. 

Falling asleep like this would be so perfect, Mark felt safe and at peace for the first time in a while. He could kick himself forever and a day for all of his mistakes but it’d be no use, he realized. He couldn’t be stuck in the past anymore. He has to focus on being a better person and friend today, tomorrow, and every day after instead mulling over what could’ve been. Lucky for Mark he was gifted and blessed with a forgiving friend who would accept him and all his flaws. He wondered to himself if what really scared him about change was the good things that could happen. He felt so undeserving for so long that maybe it was scary because it’d mean he’d be putting his heart on his sleeve, ready to be broken at any instant. He wanted to thank Jungwoo one more time for making Mark feel like he was deserving of love and friendship and offering it so easily to him. He untucked his head and opened his mouth but Jungwoo had his eyes shut and his breathing was steadying, falling into sleep. 

Mark relaxed into the bed and snuggled back into Jungwoo, indeed it WAS the perfect way to fall asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jungwoo shuddered, breaking Mark out of his thoughts, “Mark,” Jungwoo whispered, “Should we stop?”

Jungwoo and Mark stirred awake from their midday nap, it was late afternoon now and they could hear their members in the other room yelling excitedly, probably playing a game. Mark shifted and squeezed Jungwoo gently before untangling himself, “Come on, let’s go see what they’re playing.”

Jungwoo groaned, digging his face into his pillow, “I wanna sleep.”

“You can’t sleep all day,” Mark gently patted Jungwoo’s back. 

“Yes I can, I do it all the time,” Jungwoo replied lazily. 

“Let’s go play for a little and then we can cuddle again,” Mark coaxed. 

Jungwoo uncovered his face, raising an eyebrow. Mark was never the usual one to initiate skinship. Often Jungwoo was the playful, cuddly member, not just with Mark but with everyone. He was used to being the one to sneak into Mark’s bed in the mornings while Mark complained even though they always ended up napping together. 

“Come on,” Mark smiled. Jungwoo paused and managed an ‘okay’ before getting out of bed dramatically and following Mark to the living room. 

-

“I feel much better,” Mark sighed. 

“That’s good, I’m glad you do,” Johnny replied, smiling, “Sometimes it takes some growing up and self awareness to better relationships with people around us.”

“Yes, Dr. Suh,” Mark rolled his eyes teasingly. 

“I know you’re making fun but I could totally be a doctor,” Johnny huffed. 

“So… when are you gonna tell everyone about you and Ten?” Mark pried, picking at the pillow he was hugging. 

“Um…” Johnny paused, “I think everyone probably knows.”

“Okay? Some people knew about Haechan and Yangyang but they still went to tell everyone.”

“Who’s talking about me,” Haechan walked into the room in the middle of their conversation, “And why do I always find you on my bed Mark?”

“Oh I’m just telling Johnny he should take his own advice about growing up,” Mark smirked, motioning for Haechan to sit next to him. 

Haechan caught on and smiled back at Mark with a knowing look. He laid next to Mark, stomach down, elbows on the bed and head propped in his hands, cocking his head to the side, “Oh?” Haechan feigned innocence. 

“You guys are annoying, I liked it better when you weren’t talking to each other,” Johnny snapped, only making Haechan and Mark more amused. The two were a great combo for teasing others. 

“I dunno what you mean hyung, I just got here” Haechan’s eyes widened to show his innocence, “What does Mark mean, you need to grow up about what?” 

“I regret everything,” Johnny groaned, making Haechan giggle in delight, “I’m pretty sure you know… me and Ten.”

“You and Ten what?” Haechan inquired. 

Johnny glared at him, “We’re… together.”

“Duh boring,” Haechan snorted. 

“Then why’d you make me say it?” Johnny sighed annoyed. 

“Because it’s fun to torture you,” Haechan and Mark laughed together. 

“Great then you can tell everyone for me,” Johnny shot back, “What are you even doing here, I thought you were going out with Yangyang.”

“I am,” Haechan huffed lifting himself off the bed, “I had to change and beautify myself first obviously.”

“Is all of NCT going to pair up til we’re all just dating each other,” Mark wondered out loud, making Johnny and Haechan give him a confused look. 

“Mark… are you dating somebody?” Haechan side eyed him. 

“No I just think it’s funny… maybe we should socialize more with other groups and people,” Mark laughed and Haechan joined in while Johnny shook his head. At least Mark could joke about it now. 

-

Days had passed, some days going into the studio to work but mostly having every other day off and things were mostly normal again, Jungwoo and Mark went back to acting how they used to. Except Jungwoo sometimes would hesitate when he wanted to hug or touch Mark, which obviously made Mark feel bad since he knew it was just Jungwoo being his caring self and wanting to be careful to not make Mark uncomfortable. But honestly Mark missed their unreserved closeness. Instead of noticing the slight change in Jungwoo’s behavior and doing nothing about it Mark decided to take it into his own hands. He wanted to make sure that Jungwoo knew he was comfortable with him and that he enjoyed how loving his nature was. 

It took a few times to notice Jungwoo hesitating but once Mark was sure, he initiated hugs and cuddles himself. It definitely made Jungwoo happy, shy because Mark is not one to be so soft, but happy nonetheless. 

It was past noon and Mark had set a shared playlist of some of their recent favorite chill songs while they rested together on Mark’s bed. Jungwoo had his arm splayed over Mark’s chest, not asleep but breathing softly against Mark’s neck with his eyes closed. Mark ran his fingers through Jungwoo’s scalp playing with his hair and clearing his throat to voice a thought he’d held in for a while, “You know what I can’t stop thinking about?”

“Hmm?” Jungwoo sighed lazily. 

“Kissing you,” Mark exhaled sharply, hoping he didn’t sound too cringe. 

Jungwoo lifted his head, eyes squinted, “Huh? Am I dreaming?” 

“I think about it a lot, how soft your lips are,” Mark ran his fingers across Jungwoo’s lips, “And how gentle you were,” Mark studied Jungwoo’s face. 

Jungwoo gulped in response, he didn’t get nervous often, not about this kind of thing. But this was MARK, the most awkward boy who would never ever make the first move. 

“Mark…” Jungwoo swallowed, “Are you hitting on me?”

Mark shrugged, “I just wanted to tell you,” he whispered. 

Jungwoo slowly placed his head back down on his pillow, seeming to wrap his mind around what Mark confessed. 

Mark reached out to stroke Jungwoo’s cheek, “Can I— Can I kiss you?” Mark managed to stutter out. 

Jungwoo stared back, “Will it really be okay?” His eyes turned in with slight worry. 

Mark nodded, “If you want to.”

“Okay,” Jungwoo squeaked, but he was frozen in place. 

Mark took the lead and lifted up to hover over Jungwoo, his hand on Jungwoo’s cheek tucking his hair back. He leaned in slowly, not breaking eye contact, stopping a hair before their lips would touch, “Can I?”

Jungwoo gave a breathless, “Yes” and his eyes fluttered closed. 

Mark smiled against Jungwoo’s lips before pressing in, taking his time. They both breathed in and Jungwoo began to push back against Mark’s mouth, more firm but still gentle. The kisses were slow but they took each other in fully each time they moved with each other, like soft ocean waves moving in unison. 

Before Mark could control his body he’d moved completely hovered on top of Jungwoo, their legs tangled. His heart started pounding as he tried to pump himself up to move from Jungwoo’s lips to his jaw. He took a deep breath and went for it, moving along Jungwoo’s jaw and landing on his neck. He wasn’t sure what he was doing but he continued to kiss the area, alternating with a soft lick in between kisses. Jungwoo’s hands crept into Mark’s hair, pulling slightly as he whined softly. 

Mark thought for a moment, maybe they should stop here while they’re ahead. They should take their time to work their way up to things and have conversations about it. But at the same time, he never felt more secured and connected to Jungwoo than ever before. Why let all the nuances get in the way, why overthink like he did before? Why not just give Jungwoo the million hugs and kisses he deserves? 

Jungwoo shuddered, breaking Mark out of his thoughts, “Mark,” Jungwoo whispered, “Should we stop?”

“Do you _want_ to stop?” Mark questioned. 

“No, do you?” Jungwoo answered softly. 

“No,” Mark breathed out shakily, “Can I keep going?”

Jungwoo was wide eyed but nodded and gave Mark a soft smile as they connected their lips again. 

This time would definitely be different. Maybe things were up in the air about what they were to each other but it didn’t seem to matter that much anymore. There was trust and want, everything else would hopefully fall into place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m going to try and keep the story going for a few more chapters, I’m pretty sure I know where I want it to go but comments are appreciated!


	6. Chapter 6

“Mark—“ Jungwoo’s voice hitched in his throat. Mark only hummed in response, he was busy working soft kisses all over Jungwoo’s neck and collarbone. 

“Marrrrk,” Jungwoo hissed, “The door’s not locked.”

Mark looked up, glancing at his bedroom door wondering if it was worth getting up to minimize the likelihood that someone could walk in on them. He paused for a second before climbing off the bed quickly to secure the lock. 

He reached the bed again just as quickly, making his way to lay himself on top of Jungwoo but just before he could duck down to continue where he left off, Jungwoo held Mark’s shoulders to stop him, “Are you sure you wanna do this?” Jungwoo swallowed. 

“Yeah of course,” Mark leaned back in slight surprise. 

Jungwoo nodded, “I don’t want you to freak out again…”

Mark shook his head, “I was feeling insecure and scared before... but I wanted you then and I want you now. It’s a little scary because all of this is new to me but it’s scarier not being close to you, it just took me a minute to realize,” Mark placed a gentle kiss on Jungwoo’s forehead, “I’m sorry.”

Jungwoo smiled up at Mark, wrapping his arms around his neck and giving a soft, “Okay, I trust you if you trust me.”

“Absolutely,” Mark tickled Jungwoo’s cheek with feathery kisses making him giggle. Jungwoo tightened his hold around his neck to bring Mark closer and Mark gave in, relaxing his body into Jungwoo’s. 

Mark could already feel the heat radiating between their bodies as he began to re explore Jungwoo’s pillowy lips. He slipped his knee between Jungwoo’s thighs to spread them apart, fitting his body in between Jungwoo’s legs. Jungwoo gasped at the feeling and again when Mark rolled his hips lightly, the action making Jungwoo wrap his legs around Mark’s waist to get better friction. 

Mark could feel Jungwoo’s quickening breaths in between their kisses, it was such a simple sound but it drove him crazy. He rested his hands on the sides of Jungwoo’s head and tucked his face into Jungwoo’s neck to focus on his hips rolling slowly and steadily. Jungwoo gasped with each movement and attached his mouth to Mark’s neck attempting to make him more vocal. Jungwoo kissed and sucked lightly at the area, biting small bruises into Mark’s neck. The stimulation was making Mark’s body shake, small moans escaped his lips anytime Jungwoo did anything. 

Only a couple of minutes passed and he could feel himself fully hard against Jungwoo who was in the same boat. Even through the fabric of their clothes, the friction of their hard dicks rubbing against each other made both boys release desperate sounds. For several minutes they both rocked their pelvises against each other, Mark tried to slow and hold himself back but the feeling was way too good to not chase. 

“Can you come like this?” Mark asked breathlessly. 

“I’m already so close,” Jungwoo whined, throwing his head back. 

“Me too,” Mark shuddered, “Is it too short if I come right now?”

“Fuck no,” Jungwoo grunted softly. 

“I haven’t even felt your whole body properly and it’s already driving me crazy,” Mark confessed his voice low. 

“Don't slow down,” Jungwoo pleaded with whispers into Mark’s ear as he bit at the lobe. 

“Fu-uck,” Mark’s hips stuttered as his pace quickened, desperate for release. 

“You feel so good,” Jungwoo’s breath tickled Mark’s ear, sending goosebumps throughout his body. 

“Jungwoo—“ Mark squeaked out in a high pitched voice, “I— ah.”

“What Mark?” Jungwoo whispered teasingly, running his hands through Mark’s scalp and down the back of his neck. 

Mark’s voice caught in his throat, his body was on fire now rolling desperately into Jungwoo, “Please please please,” Mark begged and his prayer was answered, an avalanche of feelings tumbled, Mark’s whole body stuttered, his vision blurred as he let out a desperate moan and came in his pants. 

Mark’s movements slowed as he rode out his orgasm but Jungwoo’s hips were working overtime to chase his high too. Mark held his body tightly against Jungwoo’s and licked long stripes against his neck, the perfect combination to send Jungwoo over the edge, his whines ending with one long breathy sound of relief. 

“Sorry,” Mark sighed softly, his body now limp against Jungwoo’s. 

“Why? That was so good,” Jungwoo let out a pleased moan. 

“I thought we’d do more and that I’d be able to return the favor of what you did last time, or that at least I’d last longer.”

Jungwoo laughed breathlessly, “Mark, in case you didn’t notice I didn’t last that much longer than you.”

Mark’s cheeks flared up, “I just don’t want to disappoint you, you have more experience than I do.”

“Maybe a little bit more, but I haven’t been with anyone in a while so I’m not used to this either. Practice makes perfect, so we can practice a lot… if you want to.”

“Stop saying ‘if’. I want to do everything with you,” Mark admitted, pulling his head back to look at Jungwoo. 

“I want that too,” Jungwoo smiled and shoved Mark gently, “We should probably change. I’m gross and sticky.” 

“I can’t wait for more practice,” Mark smirked, pushing himself up to get cleaned. 

“It’s gonna be a lot of fun,” Jungwoo grinned back.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jungwoo shrugged and his eyes turned slightly more serious, “You don’t want anyone to know?” 
> 
> Mark was taken aback by the question, he looked around at his members again, “Not yet.”

Mark yawned so big he had to cover his face with two hands, he rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand looking at his reflection in the mirror. His dreary eyes shot open when he saw it: a big fat hickey right under his jaw on the left side. He gulped tracing it with his fingers, belatedly realizing there were more than one scattered and trailing down his neck leading to his chest where he was sure there were even more. Mark stood still, hand to his neck wondering what to do. If people saw this they’d ask questions and Mark wasn’t ready for that. Not when he knows how much they’ll tease him, especially Haechan and Johnny. He quickly threw his hoodie he’d discarded a few minutes ago back on, the neck on it high enough that it covered most of the evidence, perfect timing too as Haechan swung the practice room door open. 

“‘Cause they al-ways start to cryyyyy,” Haechan sang, waltzing into the room with all the confidence in the world as he often did. He was followed by Taeil trailing behind him and harmonizing along. 

Just then Jungwoo slipped in making eye contact with Mark, he could feel the heat in his cheeks rising as the tall boy approached closing the distance between them, “Hiii, long time no see,” he purred wrapping his arms around Mark’s waist and tucking his face into his shoulder. 

Mark hesitated, panicked that everyone would be staring at them. He peered above Jungwoo’s shoulder, eyes darting across the room while the other members filed in, some of them stretching already, no one was focused on the two boys hugging. Of course not, Jungwoo was like this with everyone, it wasn't anything new. But that’s because no one else knew the way Mark’s body reacted with every simple touch Jungwoo gave him, well no one except Jungwoo himself who certainly took advantage of it, loving how sensitive Mark’s body was whenever things got heated. 

“What are you talking about,” Mark laughed, finally embracing Jungwoo back, wrapping his arms around his neck, “I saw you five minutes ago.” Most of the time when they were cuddling or kissing they were laying down, it’s times like these when Mark was reminded just how tall Jungwoo really was. He had to stand on his toes to hug Jungwoo back properly, even then Jungwoo still had to bend a centimeter down to lay his head on Mark. It made him feel so tiny hugging like this. When he was alone and fantasized about Jungwoo he saw himself being dominant, he thought about how he could work up to that and make Jungwoo melt under him but now feeling so small in Jungwoo’s arms his brain fogged up imagining Jungwoo being the dominant one, controlling him and ruining him. 

“By the way,” Mark whispered, “You have to be more careful, my neck looks like I was eaten.”

“And it was so delicious,” Jungwoo giggled. It made Mark breathless, Jungwoo rumbling against him. 

“I’m serious,” Mark pulled back giving Jungwoo a soft smile, “I don’t wanna deal with people asking about it.” 

Jungwoo pouted, dropping his arms, “Okay, I’m sorry.”

“Don't do that, you make me feel like I’m kicking a puppy,” Mark laughed. 

Jungwoo shrugged and his eyes turned slightly more serious, “You don’t want anyone to know?” 

Mark was taken aback by the question, he looked around at his members again, “Not yet.”

“Okay,” Jungwoo smiled, but Mark could tell it was half forced. He wasn’t sure what else to say, he was crazy about Jungwoo and the past week of kissing, cuddling, and exploring each other’s bodies was fun and he wanted to keep doing it but it was still scary to think about everything else that comes with it. He so badly wishes it could be as simple as falling asleep in each other’s arms every night but then there was reality lingering and questioning: are they friends who mess around or are they more? _Could_ they be more? Will everyone treat them differently? What if the fans find out? Will they be forced apart by society expectations? Is it worth it? 

“Jungwoo,” Mark reached his hand out but just then Taeyong clapped to get everyone’s attention. Usually he could laser focus himself when it came to work but he couldn’t help to worry, an uneasy feeling swelling up in his chest. The last thing he wanted to do was make Jungwoo feel insecure again, he never wanted to be the reason for Jungwoo’s sadness. 

The choreographer went through the steps making sure everyone was getting the movements. It was still early in the choreography process, they’d been working on recording for the new album and now they had to solidify the dance for the title track. 

After a few hours they finally yelled for a break and Mark plopped down to the floor. Haechan fell to his side breathing heavily, “Hey, you okay? You hesitated more than usual.”

“Yeah, just been tired,” Mark replied with a huff. He turned looking at his friend pushing his long hair back and leaning back on his arms, “What about you?” 

“Huh?” Haechan raised an eyebrow, “What about me?” 

“Usually you’re glued to your phone in between breaks.”

“Wow, Mark the observant one,” Haechan rolled his eyes pointing to the bench on the other side of the room, “I’m just too lazy to get it.”

“I’m just making sure…” Mark laughed nervously. 

“Making sure… of what?” Haechan awaited an explanation. 

“That you’re not missing any messages from Yangyang,” Mark shrugged, pulling at the neck of his hoodie to try and alleviate his sweating. 

“He’s fine, he’s busy too. Besides now that we’re working again and in separate units we agreed to make sure to check in the morning and at night since we can’t always answer throughout the day.”

“How is it?” Mark pried, curious. 

“Our relationship?” Haechan cocked his head while Mark nodded, “Uh, good? I guess.”

“You’re not sure?” Mark’s face contorted with worry. 

“It’s not about being sure Mark. I love Yangyang but sometimes it’s hard. Not because of us but because of outside factors,” Haechan pursed his lips. 

“Like what?” Mark probed. 

“Why are you interested?” Haechan’s head shot backwards looking at Mark confused. 

“I just… want to understand.”

“Well like…” Haechan took a deep breath, “I worry about telling my mom. Yangyang wants to meet my family but I keep telling him to wait,” Haechan’s eyes fell to his lap, “I understand why, his family is a thousand miles away, so he wants to get close to mine but…”

Mark nodded shakily, “He doesn’t know you’re not out to them?” 

Haechan nodded looking up, “I lied,” he sighed, “About my phone. You were right. We fought about it last night because I finally told him that they don’t know. He asked me ‘aren’t I worth telling them?’ and I hesitated. He got upset and said he needed some space,” Haechan shrugged sadly. 

“I’m sorry,” Mark landed a hand on Haechan’s shoulder. 

Haechan’s eyes were glistening with wetness, he offered Mark a weak smile refusing to let any tears escape, “Thanks Mark, and thanks for asking. I know we’ll be fine eventually, or at least I hope.”

Mark agreed silently. 

“You don’t have to tell me… but your sweater is not the turtleneck you think it is.” Haechan’s eyes were soft, not accusatory but Mark’s hands flew up pulling the sweater higher, cheeks reddening, “Things aren’t always going to be easy and sometimes you might doubt. But you have to ask yourself, can you see yourself without them? If the question makes your throat close up and the thought alone scares you then I think you have your answer. I know Yangyang is worth it and eventually I’m gonna have to grow up and face my fears. It doesn’t mean it’s easy,” Haechan turned his lips in, eyeing Mark. It’s scary how well he knew him. 

“I— I’ll tell you soon,” Mark stuttered, “I have to figure things out…”

Haechan nodded knowingly, “Take your time,” He understood Mark well, he knew how patient one had to be with him. He’d never push him to reveal anything he didn’t want to. 

Mark smiled gently, “Yangyang is definitely worth it, you guys were made for each other,” He whispered. Haechan scrunched his nose, refusing to give in to his emotions right now. Instead he threw his head back, put his hand to chest to take deep breaths and stood up putting his hand out for Mark to grab. 

“Come on, let’s get to work.”

—

“Mark,” Jungwoo kissed the open space on the side of Mark’s neck taking the earbuds out of his ears, “Take a break.”

Mark blinked several times breaking himself out of his trance. He’d been working on lyrics for hours now, he didn’t even realize how dry his throat was until Jungwoo handed him a glass of water. 

“Okay, I’m done for tonight. I can’t think anymore,” Mark rubbed his temple and chugged the water. 

“Come on, I’ll help you relax,” Jungwoo teased near Mark’s ear. Mark couldn’t help but to smirk. Despite their first physical encounter involving sucking dick they hadn’t taken it that much further in the past weeks, mostly kissing and cuddling, sometimes dry humping, sometimes hands slipping beneath each other’s pants helping each other get off. Mark knew it was good to take their time since he was experiencing most of this for the first time but he still hadn’t seen Jungwoo fully naked and he wanted that image so badly to burn inside his mind. He’d played with his dick and seen how pretty it was but it was the full picture he wanted, nothing on Jungwoo’s body head to toe. 

“Can we please…” Mark started before he could stop himself. 

“What Mark? Anything you want,” Jungwoo smiled, cupping Mark’s face with his hands. 

“I want to,” Mark cleared his throat, “Wanna see you, your body…”

Jungwoo nodded, licking his bottom lip. He took a couple of steps back, “Don‘t look away for one second,” Jungwoo said firmly and Mark nodded furiously, frozen in his chair. Jungwoo pulled his sweater over his head, giving Mark a dark look, they were several feet apart but Mark swore he could feel the heat of Jungwoo’s body radiating off of him. Jungwoo ran his hands over his own neck, biting his bottom lip and letting his neck roll as his hands slowly crept lower. This could easily be so awkward, feeling up on your own body, but Jungwoo made it look so sexy. He took a step back towards Mark and pulled his shirt slowly off, the motion making Jungwoo’s hair messy but it only made him look hotter. Jungwoo bored holes through Mark’s eyes, not breaking contact as his hands slowly unbuttoned his jeans, he lowered the zipper stepping closer again, now only a couple of inches away. 

“Take them off,” Jungwoo demanded. Mark gulped looking up at Jungwoo’s dark eyes, breaking contact to slowly admire his body, his eyes lowering down to Jungwoo’s crotch, so close to his face. He pushed his chair a fraction of an inch forward and placed his shaky hands on the hem of Jungwoo’s pants pulling them down and swallowing knowing exactly what he wanted to do in that moment. He quickly grabbed at Jungwoo’s boxers to pull them down as well and before he could overthink himself into a box he leaned forward to lick Jungwoo’s abs. 

Jungwoo lost his composure, whipping his head down, eyes going wide, surprised at Mark making such a move. He opened his mouth to say something but Mark gained some confidence and wrapped his hand around Jungwoo’s half hard dick, making him choke back his words. Mark was so happy to finally see him like this, the view was better than he thought. He admired Jungwoo’s soft pale skin, the scent of it pulled him in. He breathed heavily against Jungwoo’s body as his hands explored, running up to Jungwoo’s chest. The warmth of his skin drew Mark in and he began to leave a trail of kisses on Jungwoo’s hips and stomach, hand still loosely wrapped around his hardening, twitching dick. 

“Mar— ah Mark,” Jungwoo whined, hands massaging through Mark’s hair. 

He graduated from kisses to grabbing the skin between his teeth and sucking on it, following it with soothing licks. Jungwoo moaned so prettily with each bite followed by gasps when he licked over it. Mark was determined to leave as many bruises as Jungwoo always seemed to leave on him. He took his time with each one, sometimes zoning out and forgetting that he had a goal in mind. He pulled back admiring his work, soft rose-like bruises scattering across Jungwoo’s lower half. 

Mark remembered the leaking dick still in his hand wanting to release and he eyed it hungrily. He tested a small lick on the head, looking up to check if Jungwoo was okay only to see his face completely contorted with pleasure, eyes wired shut. It gave Mark a jolt of confidence and he smiled, licking again. The precum had a distinct taste, one he might’ve rejected if he wasn’t so into Jungwoo. He giggled as he licked, becoming obsessed with the pretty pink dick like it was a lollipop. 

“Stop teasing, Marrrrk,” Jungwoo groaned, trying not to hunch over. 

Mark took a deep breath, crossing his eyes looking at Jungwoo’s dick admiring the details of it, the tight veins that bulged out, pumping blood into it and filling it out so beautifully, the slightly different colorations from the base to the tip. He could examine it this closely for hours, looking for new details he missed but he knew the teasing was getting to Jungwoo. He rested Jungwoo’s dick on his tongue and closed his lips around it, moving his tongue around to get the taste completely in his mouth. It was scary how quickly he became addicted to the feeling of Jungwoo inside of his mouth. He wanted to see how far he could go and slid his mouth further, nose almost touching the skin right above until he felt Jungwoo’s dick hit the back of his throat. Jungwoo let out a struggling moan, his legs shaking at this point, Mark didn’t even know how good his teasing was, he was simply exploring curiously. 

Mark exhaled, pulling off a bit before pushing back in and hitting his throat again, his eyes watered quickly and he gagged but he forced himself to swallow, there’s no way he’s gonna wimp out now. It’s all or nothing. He inhaled sharply and exhaled slowly to calm his mind and relax the muscles contracting in his throat. He swirled his tongue taking in the taste and set a slow rhythm back and forth, holding Jungwoo’s hips to guide himself. Jungwoo caved in a bit with an unsteady moan, his legs almost giving out, forcing his hand to grab the back of Mark’s chair so he wouldn’t fall. Mark helped to hold him up, wrapping his arms entirely around Jungwoo. He couldn’t help but run his hands up and down Jungwoo’s backside, landing on his ass giving his cheeks a light squeeze. He giggled breathlessly around his dick as he played with Jungwoo’s ass, the vibrations of Mark’s giggles stimulating Jungwoo even more. 

Mark was so focused on his rhythm that he gasped when Jungwoo pulled him off. His mouth was parted, cheeks red, and breathing ragged. Jungwoo couldn’t help but to moan at the sight. Mark finally took a good look at Jungwoo’s sweaty face after being so focused on his lower half, he looked so pretty even as a mess, Mark could melt.

“Can I come on your face?” Jungwoo asked desperately. 

“Yes,” Mark sighed, fluttering his eyes closed and sticking his tongue out grabbing a hold of Jungwoo’s dick again, pumping it with both of his hands. Jungwoo had planned to stroke himself since Mark put in so much good work already but this was much better so he let Mark take control. He held Mark’s hair tightly and allowed his orgasm to ripple through his body, his knees buckling, letting out a crying groan. His cum was landing in strings on Mark’s face but instead of slowing down Mark took Jungwoo inside his mouth again helping Jungwoo ride through the high. Jungwoo clenched his teeth, gurgling noises bubbling up his throat, “Too— much—,” he stuttered out as Mark craned his head up to connect their eyes, not caring about all the spit and cum overflowing in his mouth. He finally slowed with one last stroke inside his mouth hitting his throat again, “Oh my god,” Jungwoo shook, all of his muscles burning even though he hadn’t moved much. Mark rubbed comforting circles into Jungwoo’s lower back and swallowed as he popped off Jungwoo’s dick, forcing the cum to not come back up his throat. 

Jungwoo shivered for several moments, trying to catch his breath and stroking Mark’s cheeks, he looked so blissed out leaning against Jungwoo’s stomach as if he didn’t have cum and drying tears running down his face. 

“Mark you were so good,” Jungwoo finally spoke. 

“Your dick is yummy,” Mark softened into Jungwoo’s touch, the statement making Jungwoo bubble with laughter. 

Jungwoo pulled on Mark’s arms to help him stand, leaning in to kiss him but Mark shook his head, “My mouth still has some cum.” 

“So what?” Jungwoo smiled, pulling him again, resting his hands on the small of Mark’s back. Mark loosely circled his arms around Jungwoo’s neck and gave into the kiss. He was so caught up with how much he loves Jungwoo’s dick that he forgot about his perfectly soft lips, but how could he when Jungwoo’s mouth worked on him so perfectly? 

They held each other kissing for a couple more minutes before sneaking into the shower together where Jungwoo gave Mark a handjob. He meant to do more, he planned to start with his hand and eventually drop to his knees but Mark had his dick jumping the whole time that he played with Jungwoo’s that by the time he was being touched he came so easily. They were both too tired to prolong the event anyways, sleepiness taking over. 

The cold was starting to drift through Mark’s window so they were snuggled up in hoodies and thicker sweatpants but the way they tangled up in Mark’s bed was probably enough to keep them warm. 

Jungwoo laid on his back while Mark had his arm and leg over his body. It was a funny sight considering it was usually Jungwoo cuddling into Mark. He was giving Jungwoo soft kisses on his cheek and neck while Jungwoo sighed with each one, eyes closed and half asleep. Mark paused to trace his fingers around Jungwoo’s lips and along the lines of his face, the beauty of his features never failed to amaze Mark. 

Jungwoo turned on his side to face Mark and he took the chance to tuck himself into Jungwoo’s body. Mark admired the pretty boy quickly falling into sleep, his heart starting to pound. They definitely had to talk about this at some point and Mark was starting to feel like that time needed to be soon. Even so, he wasn’t sure what to do. The way things are right now are perfect, what if it becomes complicated like Johnny and Haechan warned? He wasn’t even sure he was ready for a relationship, assuming Jungwoo would even want that too, what if Jungwoo was in it just for the hooking up? Mark clutched his chest, Haechan’s words ringing in his ears: ‘ask yourself if you can see yourself without them?’. He couldn’t, he hated thinking of a world where he didn’t have Jungwoo beside him. 

Mark’s head swirled, he tried to shake himself out of his thoughts. It was too much right now and he was tired. But he knew in the morning he’d remember. 

The question was did he want Jungwoo in his life as a friend or… boyfriend?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a longer chapter. Let me know if you guys wanna see more Yanghyuck. Comments and thoughts are appreciated ❤️


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I— I shouldn’t be in love with one of my members,” Mark choked out hoarsely, tears pricking his eyes again.

“Hey Mark, you okay?” Jaehyun peered at Mark, his dimple pushing in as he brought his lips together. 

Mark looked up from where he was sitting at the counter, his hair a mess and eyes tired, “Yeah dude I’ve just been staying up a lot writing.”

“What about?” Jaehyun pried, raising his eyebrows with question. Something about the way Jaehyun had a sly smile in many of his expressions made Mark feel like he was being examined. But this is just the way Jaehyun always looked, it’s the fact that Mark was hiding something that made him feel like he was under a spotlight. 

“Um… a lot of stuff. Why?” 

“Just wondering,” Jaehyun smiled, pouring himself a cup of coffee, “I heard something, figured I’d ask you about it.”

“H-heard something?” Mark shifted his eyes trying not to panic. 

“Yeah from your room the other night, you were being loud so I was wonderin—“

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Mark interrupted, voice coming out louder than he meant. 

Jaehyun paused, lowering his mug and raising an eyebrow in confusion, “Your… song?” He let out an awkward laugh. 

“Oh… right when I was writing,” Mark ruffled his own hair trying to get a grip. 

“You definitely need some sleep man,” Jaehyun chuckled softly, “I just wanted to say I liked what I heard, I know you’re not finished but it sounded deep. Can’t wait to hear when you’re done.”

“Thanks,” Mark blinked in surprise, “Didn’t realize you could hear me.”

“Thin walls,” Jaehyun pointed out and Mark couldn’t help to wonder about other sounds coming from his room lately and if anyone had heard. Jaehyun, Yuta, and Taeil certainly didn’t act any differently if they did, “Or maybe not, I actually couldn’t hear that well. Which is why I thought I’d ask you about it, but whenever you’re ready to reveal your masterpiece.”

“It’s no masterpiece,” Mark relaxed back into his seat, “A lot of scattered thoughts actually which is why I’ve been having a tough time with it and staying up.”

“You have a lot on your mind?” 

“Sorta… just trying to figure out how I feel.”

Jaehyun turned the corners of his mouth in understanding and nodded, “Felt that.”

“Do you have any experience feeling confused about your feelings? It might help me, hearing someone else’s perspective.”

“Romantically?” Jaehyun leaned his head slightly. 

“It doesn’t have to be, just in general.”

“Hmm… Well, the first thing that comes to mind is when I had a friend I had feelings for, we were always close but I kept my feelings to myself at first because I was worried about ruining our friendship. I was confused wondering if I was doing the right thing…”

“Did you ever figure it out?”

Jaehyun hesitated, shifting uncomfortably, “I ended up telling… him.”

Mark’s eyes widened, “No fucking way… you’re gay?” Mark whispered. 

“Why are you whispering?” Jaehyun flicked Mark’s forehead. He took a slow sip of his coffee before clearing his throat, “I don’t know if I am, to be honest.”

Mark nodded encouragingly. 

“I never questioned it before until I met this guy. At first I thought we were just hitting it off really well as friends but then I started to think about holding his hand and stuff I’d never thought about with a guy before. That’s part of what made it so hard to figure out my feelings because I wasn’t sure myself but it was driving me crazy so I decided to be honest with him. Not like asking him out or anything but just to tell him what I’ve been feeling and to see how he felt because I thought it would help me…”

“Did it?”

“No, he was weirded out and we stopped talking after that,” Jaehyun shrugged. 

“Dude… I’m sorry,” Mark reached for Jaehyun’s hand. 

“Thank you,” Jaehyun flashed a soft smile, “It hurt at first but that was a couple of years ago. I promise I’m fine now. I don’t know if that helps you though.”

“A bit actually, I don’t think I’d ever be brave to confess like that when I’m so unsure and have no idea what the other person is feeling. It’s an interesting perspective.”

“I guess I treat things as being either black or white. I hate gray areas, so even though it was nerve racking to be honest with him it was better for me to just know the facts so that I could figure myself out better.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah… It sucks that we don't talk at all anymore. I had figured if he didn't feel the same way our friendship was strong enough to get over it but things happen, if it wasn’t meant to be then I have to learn to let it go.”

“Hmm interesting, I’ll take notes.”

“For your song or for your dating life?” Jaehyun teased a smile behind his mug. 

“Both,” Mark chuckled, scratching behind his ear. 

“Oh?” Jaehyun cocked his head to the side. 

Mark only shrugged in response getting up abruptly, “I should head out…”

“Mark,” Jaehyun laughed, “Don’t worry I won’t pry but I’m here if you need anything.”

“Thanks,” Mark laughed, “I really did need to head out...”

-

Mark clutched his sweater closer to his chest, it was colder than he thought but it was only a short walk from the Uber car to the door so he decided not to kick himself for not bringing his jacket. 

“Hey dude,” Johnny smiled at him when he finally reached the door. 

He shuffled past Johnny, not willing to wait any longer, shivering as he adjusted to the warmth of the dorm. 

Mark had messaged Johnny thirty minutes earlier hoping he could get his perspective on “feelings” too, maybe it’d help Mark with his song. What he didn’t expect was for Johnny to be at the WayV dorm and invite him over, which was fine… it’s just it had been a while since Mark felt like he was welcome before he and Yangyang got caught in a weird space of being the current boyfriend and ex boyfriend. 

Mark didn’t feel like being in a room full of people when he was planning to talk to Johnny but luckily some of the WayV members were busy with work, at least it’d be less eyes on him. 

There were scattered greetings from the other members as Mark came to settle down next to Ten. 

“Hey we’re just playing monopoly, you can hop on the next game if that’s okay or you could put a movie on,” Ten pointed to the remote. 

“It’s okay, I just wanted to talk to Johnny but it can wait,” Mark said as Johnny also came back to his spot. Ten was taking his turn as Winwin, Johnny, and Yangyang followed his movement. 

“Something serious?” Ten raised his eyebrow, not taking his eyes off the board. 

“No… just about a song I’m working on. Actually if you guys don’t mind, I’d like to hear your thoughts too,” Mark leaned forward on his hands, the others finally looking up to give Mark their attention. 

“What kind of song?” Winwin looked up eyeing Mark, “Aren’t all your songs about sex?”

“No!” Mark’s voice cracked. 

“Oh God, a virgin writing about sex. Can’t believe I never realized the irony,” Ten snorted with laughter. 

“I knew I should’ve just stayed in bed today,” Mark pouted, not even realizing it only made him look more like a baby. 

“Guys, it’s not Mark’s fault producers always give us horny songs,” Johnny tried to hold in his laughter, “No but seriously, you do a great job writing on top of their material.”

“Yeah, whatever, forget I asked for help,” Mark rolled his eyes, “And who says I’m a virgin?” Mark huffed. 

They all looked at Mark in unison, no one wanting to voice what they were all thinking until Yangyang broke the silence, “Aren’t you?” 

It took Mark a second to register they were all staring at him, he looked up with wide eyes, “Maybe, maybe not. Not like you guys would know.”

“Wouldn’t we?” Ten raised a brow, “I’m sure Johnny does. Johnny?”

Mark turned in a panic, slapping a hand over Johnny’s mouth instinctively, “Don’t you fucking say anything,” Mark said in a shrill tone. 

Dread washed over his body when he realized his reaction may have been a bit much, him and Johnny were like brothers but he was still older than him. Luckily Johnny wasn’t mad, he just pulled Mark’s hand off, “I wasn’t going to say anything dude.”

“Johnny,” Ten cooed, “What do you know?” 

“I don’t know anything,” he shrugged nonchalantly, “Weren’t we playing? It’s your turn Yangyang.” 

“Actually I’m kind of interested in Mark’s love life now,” Yangyang smiled slyly, rolling the die in his hand. 

“There’s nothing to know, it’s not your business,” Mark shot back. 

“I thought we were friends,” Yangyang slapped his hand to his chest. 

“Yeah, what’s wrong with being honest with your friends?” Ten teased. 

“Guys take it easy, Mark is sensitive these days,” Johnny reached out to pat Mark’s head. 

“Can you guys shut up?” Mark folded his arms trying to not show his emotions. 

“You were all up in my business before, you owe me Mark,” Yangyang was not one to let up. 

Mark shot him a death glare, “Okay I’m a virgin, are you guys happy?” 

“That can’t be the thing that Johnny knows,” Yangyang raised his eyebrows, “What were you so worried he’d say?”

“I— nothing! Can’t you shut the fuck up already?!” Mark shouted, and it would’ve sounded angry except his voice cracked and his eyes started to sting. 

An uneasy silence fell over them as they eyed Mark, a mix of surprise and worry. 

“Sorry dude, I was just kidding,” Yangyang half whispered, eyes shooting down. 

“No,” Mark choked out, “I— I’m sorry. I’m just stressed out,” Mark sniffed, not sure why he reacted the way he did. 

No one knew what to say so they settled in uncomfortable silence again, giving each other awkward glances. 

Mark couldn’t handle the tension anymore, he stood without a sound and headed straight to the bathroom, hitting the floor as soon as he closed the door behind him. 

He rested his head in hands trying to organize his thoughts, Why why why why is everything getting to him? It’s not like Johnny would’ve exposed him, even if he did these are some of his most trusted friends. They wouldn’t judge him. Mark knew all this so what was it that was bothering him?

“Mark,” a soft voice followed by a knock came to the door, “Let me in please.”

Mark paused trying to regain his composure, “It’s open,” he said back. 

Yangyang opened the door carefully, closing it behind him and sliding down the wall to sit next to Mark, “I didn’t know you were gonna have a panic attack, I’m sorry.”

“It’s not a panic attack,” Mark bit his words out. 

“Dude,” Yangyang grabbed Mark’s hand, holding his wrist between his thumb and two fingers, “Your heart rate is high, you’re breathing heavy, is your vision okay?”

Mark blinked several times realizing how blurry everything looked, his breathing starting to become quicker. Yangyang grabbed his other hand and pulled himself to face Mark, “It’s okay, take a deep breath. Look at me and take a deep breath,” Yangyang instructed. 

Mark met Yangyang’s eyes and followed the rhythm Yangyang was demonstrating, their shoulders rising and falling in unison as Mark relaxed again and his tears fell silently. 

“Please tell me what’s wrong? I hate seeing you like this,” Yangyang gently released Mark’s hands. 

“Nothing’s wrong,” Mark looked down. 

“Clearly there’s something Mark. Johnny says you’ve been on edge lately but he wouldn’t say why. He was gonna come but I told him I’d check on you,” Yangyang soothed. 

“Why? Why do you care?”

“Because we’re friends, I know things got weird between us but it doesn’t mean I care about you any less.”

“Can I ask you something then?” Mark peeked up. 

“Of course.”

“How do you know you love Haechan? How is it not scary for you to jump into something not knowing what’s going to happen?”

Yangyang looked taken aback for a second but he craned his head in thought, “It is scary.”

“It is?”

“Of course. I’m scared things will change one day or that we’ll grow apart but that’s why we talk about these things with each other. I know I love him because I can’t imagine not being with him, I don’t even want to think about it.”

“Wow he said the same thing…” Mark nodded. 

“Really?” Yangyang’s eyes glistened sadly. 

“Yeah, he told me to ask myself that question, ‘can I see myself without them?’ because that’s how he feels about you, he said even when things are hard you’re worth it. You guys are definitely made for each other,” Mark sniffed with a laugh. 

Yangyang smiled, wiping at his eyes before the tears could fall, “Love is what makes it worth it. Trust, honesty, and putting in time is what makes it work.”

“That’s the hardest thing for me, being honest. Not just with other people but with myself. I’m scared to give into feelings I have because I feel like I won’t be enough or be able to give him everything he deserves,” Mark shivered. 

“Can I ask who it is?” Yangyang asked softly. 

Mark leaned forward, his chin on his knees and pulling his legs toward his body, “Um I feel like if I tell you it’ll become real…” 

“Isn’t it already real?” Yangyang laughed softly, “Clearly you guys have had something going on. What’s so scary about telling me… or somebody else?”

“I— I shouldn’t be in love with one of my members,” Mark choked out hoarsely, tears pricking his eyes again. 

“Dude, look who you’re talking to,” Yangyang leaned forward, with an incredulous face. 

“That’s different,” Mark said with a shaky voice. 

“How?”

“You and Haechan are, like, perfect together… but me, I ruin things. I couldn’t even love my best friend properly. How can I tell him how I feel when I’m not sure I won’t mess up again, when I don’t know how to be a good boyfriend?”

“Remember when you first told me about how you and Haechan dated?” Yangyang reached for Mark’s hand again. 

“Yeah?”

“You said you liked him but it felt too weird, almost like you guys were brothers, right?”

“Yeah…?”

“You only chased him when he moved on, just because you didn’t want your friendship to disappear… Do you think any of that was really love?”

“No… I was just confused and lonely,” Mark gripped Yangyang’s hand. 

“Exactly so that was that. It’s in the past, it wasn’t meant to be, don’t avoid something good now just because you’re scared of what happened before.”

“But…” Mark held on tighter. 

“But with…” Yangyang searched Mark’s eyes for an answer, “‘Him’… you love him?”

Mark froze, “Did I say that?”

“You said ‘I shouldn’t be in love with one of my members’, literally two seconds ago,” Yangyang laughed softly. 

“Shit.”

“So you do?”

“Yeah,” Mark shuddered, “Like crazy,” his nose scrunched and eyebrows twitched, trying not to show the fear in his eyes. 

“Oh my god,” Yangyang brought his fist to face, biting on his knuckles, a surprised laugh breathing against it. 

“I’ve never admitted it out loud,” Mark let out a deep breath, a weight beginning to lift off his shoulders, “I didn’t realize it’d be that easy to say,” He shook his head. 

“You should tell him,” Yangyang smiled, trying not to cheese too much. 

“I want to, but what if Jungw—“ Mark choked his words back too late. Yangyang’s jaw was now on the floor, smiling like a big idiot, “Shit,” Mark groaned. 

“Markwoo,” Yangyang giggled, “I ship it!” 

“Stop,” Mark pushed back but he was holding back a smile now too, his cheeks quickly turning a bright shade of pink. 

“I have a feeling he feels the same way,” Yangyang nodded with reassurance, “Don’t be scared Mark.”

“Thank you,” Mark whispered as he threw himself to hug Yangyang. 

“Be brave,” Yangyang said into Mark’s shoulder, “Whatever happens, I’ll be here for you. We all will be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave your thoughts, I love to read your comments 🥺❤️


	9. Chapter 9

“What about this?” Yangyang held up a stuffed bear, half the size of his body. 

“No babe, that’s not big enough,” Haechan scolded, pushing Yangyang gently to put the bear back in its spot. 

“Guys I don’t know about this… maybe I should—“ 

“Mark,” Haechan interrupted, “Don’t you want to make it a special occasion?” 

“Yeah but shouldn’t it just be about our feelings? Not,” Mark motioned to the plushies around them, “Not all this.”

“But you wanna start off with a cute present to show him you care,” Haechan waved Mark off continuing to browse. 

“Isn’t that the point in confessing? Isn’t that enough?” Mark looked around, clearly overwhelmed. 

“Of course but don’t you wanna do something extra special? To make him smile?” Yangyang offered, trying to keep Mark at ease. 

“I guess so…” Mark shrugged. 

“Okay if you’re really not into this then how about you come up with something and we can help you,” Haechan looked at Mark attentively. 

“But… I don’t know what to do… I was just going to talk to him,” Mark shuffled his feet looking at the ground, “I’m already messing up… aren’t I?”

“No Mark! Haechan is just into grand gestures,” Yangyang rolled his eyes elbowing Haechan in his side and throwing an arm over Mark’s shoulder, “No matter what, as long as you tell Jungwoo how you feel, that’s good enough. I promise,” Yangyang smiled, squeezing Mark’s shoulder to comfort him. 

“Well… he does like cute stuff. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to get him a present,” Mark ran his eyes across the room, “What about a dog?” Mark pointed at a medium sized stuffed dog that resembled the emoji they often used for Jungwoo. 

“Oh my god, that’s perfect,” Haechan grabbed the stuffed dog, “Do you wanna get flowers or chocolate covered strawberries? I know a place that has really good ones.”

“Hmm… he likes chicken…?” Mark craned his head thoughtfully. 

“Um, chicken is not exactly a present,” Haechan scrunched his nose in disapproval. 

“Shut up babe, Mark I think that’d be cute. You could bring his favorite chicken for dinner, maybe light some candles and give him this dog and then tell him how you feel!” Yangyang clapped excitedly. 

“Yeah if I don’t have a panic attack before I can open my mouth,” Mark pushed his hair back and started fanning himself. 

“You’ll be fine!” Yangyang smiled, holding Mark’s shoulders and shaking him encouragingly, “Come on, let’s buy this puppy and then we’ll order your dinner and help set up everything.”

“Chocolate covered strawberries are cute too,” Haechan muttered as they headed to the counter to pay for the stuffed animal. 

—

Mark was pacing back and forth trying to breathe calmly and remember what he’d discussed with Haechan and Yangyang. As annoying as they were, they really were trying to help Mark the best they could. He lit the calming, scented candles and placed them next to his desk. He held the stuffed dog in his hands, smiling at how much it did resemble Jungwoo’s puppy-like nature. He took a deep breath reminding himself that the point of tonight was to be honest and tell Jungwoo everything that’s been on his heart. 

Mark was still pacing when he heard the front door open and he froze almost ready to jump out the window but he paused to take a breath and walked out to meet Jungwoo in the living room. 

“Oh my gosh, I was in the studio way longer than I thought I’d be, I’m soooo hungry,” Jungwoo whined. 

“Oh, well don’t worry! I ordered us dinner,” Mark took his time taking in all of Jungwoo, head to toe. He was in comfortable clothes, his usual type of outfit when he went to record but he still looked so beautiful, even like this. 

“Really?” Jungwoo raised his eyebrows in surprise, “What’d you get?”

“It’s a surprise,” Mark smirked, finally gaining some confidence and making his way towards Jungwoo. 

“Surprise?” Jungwoo cocked his head curiously. 

“Yeah, come on do you wanna watch something? A movie?”

“Sure!” Jungwoo jumped up excitedly to get comfortable on the couch, “Come cuddle with me, Marrrrrk,” Jungwoo purred, cheerful as always and Mark couldn’t hold back his smile anymore. He was so sure, nothing could be better than this, seeing Jungwoo happy and smiling. 

Just then the doorbell rang, “Okay, let me grab the food!” Mark rushed to answer the door. His heart pounding with excitement as he went to go pick up the delivery food, pumping himself up in the meantime, ‘I can do it, I can do it,’ Mark repeated in his mind. 

“Mmm,” Jungwoo inhaled deeply as Mark settled the delivery bag on the coffee table, “Smells like my favorite fried chicken,” he giggled, thoroughly pleased, “Is there enough for Taeil, Jae, and Yuta?”

“Oh don’t worry, they’re gonna be out for dinner,” Mark half smiled nonchalantly, not trying to reveal the fact that he asked the other members not to come home til much, MUCH later. 

Jungwoo flipped through the watch recommendations quickly, already munching on his first piece of chicken messily while Mark reminded himself that he’d have all night to carry out his plan. There was no need to rush but his nerves were already starting to act up. 

Jungwoo definitely lived up to his nickname, food monster, the chicken was nearly gone and only ten minutes had passed by. Mark nibbled here and there unable to eat in peace, but it was better this way anyway, he didn’t want to risk getting nauseous from nervous eating so he made sure to drink a lot of water and snacked on the fries that came as a side. 

Once Mark’s nerves were more calm and Jungwoo relaxed with his head on Mark’s lap, completely engrossed in the movie Mark spoke up clearing his throat first, “I— I got you something.”

Jungwoo turned his neck slightly and looked up at Mark confused, “Hm? For what?”

“Just because, you deserve gifts,” Mark replied unsure of how to word things without sounding awkward. 

“A gift?” Jungwoo’s eyes widened, a smile slowly spreading on his face, “What is it?!” He sat up, shifting himself to sit on Mark’s lap. 

Mark reached over the arm of the couch where he’d placed his gift bag earlier and handed it to Jungwoo who looked like he was going to jump out of skin from excitement. Maybe Haechan had a point about the gift after all. 

Jungwoo reached inside the bag and threw the tissue paper haphazardly pulling the dog plushie out of the bag and up to his face, mirroring its puppy eyes expression before hugging it tightly and twisting with happiness, “Oh my gosh Mark, thank you! This is so cute!”

Mark couldn’t help but to smile lovingly at Jungwoo’s excitement at what seemed to be such a simple gift, “It’s no problem, you deserve way more but I’m happy you like it,” he reached out to stroke Jungwoo’s face tucking his hair behind his ear. 

Jungwoo blinked in surprise, studying Mark’s face unmoving as Mark rested his hand on the back of Jungwoo’s neck to pull him in and lean in for a soft kiss. 

“Mark…” Jungwoo whispered, “I don’t know if we should kiss anymore,” he gripped tightly at Mark’s shoulders and Mark could feel Jungwoo’s body shaking. 

Mark swallowed hard, “Why not?”

“I think it’s too hard for me… to not fall for you… and I don’t wanna push you away,” Jungwoo’s eyes fell. 

“What if I told you I’m falling for you too?” Mark breathed out shakily but he was determined to let Jungwoo know everything he felt for him. 

Jungwoo’s eyes flickered up to meet Mark’s, “Wh—what?”

“I’m not just falling… I’m in love with you,” Mark’s voice was still shaky as he bit his lower lip, “I’ve loved you for a while now but I was scared to tell you because I wasn’t sure I’d be good enough to make you happy or be a good boyfriend… but if you give me a chance I promise I’ll try to be the best that I can be for you…”

“Mark…” Jungwoo trailed off, sucking in his cheeks to try and hold back his emotion, “I never thought I’d hear you say that, I love you so much, I always have,” Jungwoo’s eyes watered and he looked deeply to into Mark’s eyes straight into his soul. 

Mark’s eyes turned in, ready to spill over if he looked at Jungwoo any longer. He pulled him in hastily and kissed him with a passion he never exerted before. Jungwoo shivered against Mark’s lips, a shuddered breath releasing before his cheeks started to be softly laced by his tears. They kissed each other like crashing waves, their bodies buzzing with heat for each other. 

They both pulled back reluctantly, breathing heavy from the lack of oxygen and Mark ran his fingers through Jungwoo’s feathery soft hair, “Can I show you something?”

Jungwoo nodded, at a loss for words. Mark took his hand and led him to his room. 

“I wrote you something but I couldn’t find the right words so I decided to make it an instrumental,” Mark swallowed nervously. 

Jungwoo nodded again, new tears falling, tracing the paths of the ones that had just dried. He sat at the edge of Mark’s bed as Mark hit the spacebar on his computer and a soft guitar melody filled the room. The guitar started off alone but was then accompanied by other layers of guitar as well as a piano and bass. The sound vibrated through Jungwoo’s body, he soaked it in noticing the juxtaposition of sadness and happiness the song produced. It was a mysterious melody but as he listened more it clicked piece by piece, mirroring the way he felt about Mark if he could describe it with a sound. He knew Mark was talented but he was still amazed at how he could capture exact emotions into a 4 minute capsule of a song. 

“I love this,” Jungwoo swayed, fully immersed in the music surrounding him. His closed eyes fluttered open when he felt Mark grab his hands and lean into him pushing him gently to lay down. Their kisses never felt this desperate, their clutches on each other’s clothes never this tight. Mark whined with want as they shifted themselves into a comfortable position. 

The music continued to play over the speakers hooked into every corner of Mark’s room, the sounds enveloping them. Mark laid on his back and circled his arms around Jungwoo’s neck while Jungwoo laid on top trying not to react too eagerly but his body betrayed him, already pushing itself into Mark’s. They alternated between slow kisses and harsher ones, their tongues fighting each other messily. They turned their necks slightly, deepening the kiss and Mark couldn’t hold back anymore as he started to rut upward into Jungwoo’s hips. His hands were deep into Jungwoo’s scalp meanwhile Jungwoo’s hands ran up and down Mark’s sides, caressing him. Mark tore away from Jungwoo’s lips urgently, “I want you so bad, please,” he begged, his eyes pleading. 

Jungwoo leaned back, ripping his hoodie off, “How do you want me Mark?” It was a legitimate question but it made Mark’s dick jump, already imagining what was coming. 

“Uh… I’m not sure… however,” Mark propped himself up on his elbows. 

Jungwoo smiled, remembering that Mark was still a first timer with not much experience, “Well I can do it either way, since it’s your first time I’ll let you decide.”

Mark gulped, “I— I want to… fuck you?” He replied in a tiny voice that made Jungwoo rip into delighted laughter. 

“Please don’t make fun of me,” Mark threw his hands over his red face. 

“I’m not! I’m laughing because you’re so cute,” Jungwoo patted Mark, “I’ll walk you through it, okay?” 

Mark nodded immediately, he was so desperate for Jungwoo’s body, he’d do absolutely anything Jungwoo said. 

Mark’s song continued, set on repeat and served as the perfect background music for their heated session. Jungwoo switched to lay down while Mark settled in between his legs and they continued to kiss, eventually wandering to each other’s necks as their bodies moved together. This time Mark was not holding anything back, he worked Jungwoo’s neck and whole upper body determined to give him the same look Mark was left with before, a hickey littered torso. Jungwoo gasped at Mark’s newfound confidence as he marked his neck up, he gripped Mark’s shoulders tightly, digging his fingers into the soft skin. They tore each other’s clothes off in haste, not wanting to waste any time to get each other naked. 

They were both reduced to only boxers when Jungwoo got up abruptly, “I’ll be right back,” he whispered, giving Mark one more kiss on the lips leaving him confused and hard on his bed, blinking and looking around in a haze. This was really real. This was going to happen, finally. Mark took the time to take a deep breath and remind himself to just show Jungwoo how much he loves him, all the other technical things they can figure out together. 

Jungwoo quickly reappeared and locked the bedroom door behind him and dimmed the lights, shaking a small bottle in his hand to show Mark. 

“What is that?” Mark wondered out loud. 

“It’s lube dummy, ever heard of it?” Jungwoo slinked back into bed. 

“O-oh, yeah. I forgot about that,” Mark’s cheeks flared. 

“No worries, I got you” Jungwoo smiled softly, “Are you still okay?”

“Yes,” Mark answered before Jungwoo could even finish, “I want you… so bad.”

Jungwoo laid down again, discarding his boxers as he did and Mark followed before settling between Jungwoo’s open legs. 

“You have to go slow, start with one finger,” Jungwoo instructed as he opened the lube bottle and took Mark’s fingers to coat them showing him how to warm it up. 

Mark was sure his heart was completely in his throat the way it was drowning out almost all the sound around him. He stared as Jungwoo’s legs fell to either side, completely baring his hole to Mark.  
He reached with his shaky fingers and let them glide back and forth across Jungwoo’s opening, it was so soft, Mark wasn’t the one being touched but he couldn’t help but to whine. 

“Should I just push in?” Mark asked shakily holding a finger to Jungwoo’s rim. 

“Feel around first, you’ll be able to feel when the muscle relaxes,” Jungwoo explained as he took deep breaths to relax himself as well. 

Mark followed his instructions and circled the area, getting used to how it feels. He rubbed the opening softly before slowly pushing the first finger in, trying to be as gentle as he could. 

“F-fuck,” Jungwoo exhaled, bringing his hands under his own thighs to keep them pulled apart. 

“Does it hurt?” Mark squeaked. 

“No no, it’s good,” Jungwoo shook, already getting lost in the feeling, “Do more please.”

Mark pulled his finger slowly out, Jungwoo’s hole puckering around it. He pushed in again and began to feel slowly around Jungwoo’s walls, pushing on the sides to relax him open. He stared so intently, hooked on how Jungwoo’s hole reacted to his finger, he wondered how it felt to be on the other end of things, especially with the way Jungwoo whined it must feel good. He figured they’d get to try that too eventually. 

After a couple of minutes Mark tested a second finger lingering by Jungwoo’s entrance and once he gave the go ahead, Mark pushed in. However this time the walls pushed back and Jungwoo cried out making Mark freeze in his tracks, “Sorry!” Mark said as he rubbed Jungwoo’s thigh. 

“It’s okay,” Jungwoo breathed out, he was already covered in a layer of sweat, “It just takes a second sometimes, go ahead.”

Mark proceeded with caution, getting used to how Jungwoo reacted with every movement and touch. He settled down on his stomach comfortably between Jungwoo’s legs, kissing the inside of his thighs and exploring carefully with his fingers. Jungwoo immediately relaxed into Mark’s touch and stopped guiding Mark letting him take over. 

“I’m gonna try a third finger, tell me if it bothers you,” Mark breathed gently right next to Jungwoo’s fully hard dick. Jungwoo nodded furiously, biting his lower lip trying to contain his moans. Mark licked Jungwoo’s skin on the inside of his thigh and traced kisses on the whole area, purposefully avoiding Jungwoo’s twitching cock. Mark twisted his fingers inside of Jungwoo, making Jungwoo’s neck snap up, mouth wide open and eyes rolling back as his head fell back onto the pillow with a moan that vibrated through Mark. He pulled his fingers back slowly and aligned a third one before pushing back in, making sure he was taking his time and paying close attention to the way Jungwoo reacted. Mark kissed his thigh again and started to lick at the base of Jungwoo’s dick before licking a long stripe under the front the base to the tip, catching the tip with his lips. 

“It’s so good M—Mark,” Jungwoo’s body shook with stimulation. 

Mark smiled, happy that he could make Jungwoo feel this good. He placed a soft kiss on the head of Jungwoo’s dick before fitting it into his mouth and twisting his fingers again, pulling a high pitched moan from Jungwoo’s throat, “If you keep doing that— I’m gon—“ Jungwoo choked on his words, thighs shaking and Mark stopped everything abruptly. 

“Should I stop?” Mark rubbed Jungwoo’s thigh gently. 

“It’s really good but didn’t you wanna fuck me?” Jungwoo laughed breathily, still twitching with Mark’s fingers inside of him. 

“Yeah I want to… what if I’m not good at it though?” Mark’s confidence started to waver, there was still a part of him that felt like Jungwoo deserved someone better. 

“There’s no way,” Jungwoo sat up, grabbing Mark’s wrist to take his fingers out, “You always give your best and make me feel good,” he smiled, giving him a kiss and pushing Mark to lay on his back, “You’ve already worked really hard, it’s my turn.”

“Oh you’re gonna get on top?” Mark gulped, already feeling tingles shoot through all of his nerves. 

“We can try this first and if you want to take over we can try different positions, okay?” Jungwoo comforted, placing soft kisses on Mark’s warm cheeks. 

“Okay,” Mark replied barely above a whisper as Jungwoo straddled him, continuing to pepper him with kisses. 

Mark whined as Jungwoo pulled away to sit up. Jungwoo’s hands ran up and down Mark’s torso pausing to play with Mark’s nipples, making him writhe under him. Mark’s hands rubbed Jungwoo’s thighs sliding up his sides, he looked at Jungwoo sitting on top of him hazily, he never saw him look this perfect. Just as Mark started to zone out he felt Jungwoo shift to rub Mark’s hard dick against the cleft of his ass. Mark’s eyes shot open, biting down on his lip to suppress the moan bubbling in his throat. Jungwoo breathed out tiny sounds as he rolled his hips slowly, Mark’s dick hardening even more with the friction of Jungwoo’s ass cheeks. He looked down at Jungwoo’s hard, pink dick slightly leaking against Mark’s stomach, the precum pooling in Mark’s belly button. He continued to rub Jungwoo’s thighs as his eyes fluttered closed again, getting comfortable with the rhythm before Jungwoo interrupted the process. 

“Why’d you stop?” Mark opened his eyes, wiping the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand to see Jungwoo lifting himself up, “Oh,” Mark’s eyes widened again, his breathing quickly picking up as Jungwoo grabbed Mark’s dick, coating it with lube before lining up to slide down on it. 

“Look at me Mark,” Jungwoo pleaded. He wasn’t even demanding, he was too much of a wreck, just as much as Mark was. 

Mark bit down hard on his lower lip looking up at Jungwoo’s turned in brows and desperate eyes, feeling Jungwoo slide down slowly inch by inch, Mark melting more and more the deeper he was inside. 

Jungwoo shook and reached for Mark’s hands to interlace them, he fell slightly forward trying to let his body get used to Mark’s length and width. Mark’s face was completely blissed out, he looked like he was living on another plane of existence. 

It wasn’t until Jungwoo started to move that Mark finally released the wail stuck in his throat. Mark’s dick glided against Jungwoo’s walls as he moved up and down. Jungwoo’s hands left Mark’s grip to lean back on Mark’s folded knees, trying to keep himself balanced as best he could as be bounced up and down. Mark’s hands crept to hold Jungwoo’s hips, rubbing circles squeezing Jungwoo’s ass cheeks every time he circled. They both breathed heavily, savoring every single time their bodies fit together like the perfect puzzle pieces they were. 

“Can we turn?” Mark was barely able to speak up. 

“How?” Jungwoo shuddered, his thighs tiring out from the exertion. 

Mark sat up, holding Jungwoo tightly against his body so they wouldn’t disconnect as he turned them with Mark now hovering above Jungwoo. Jungwoo nearly melted into the mattress feeling the burn in his legs. Mark hit Jungwoo with a slow, deep thrust as he leaned down to muffle Jungwoo’s surprised moan with his lips. Mark kissed him hard, harder than he ever did before, like he was going to lose him. A few minutes passed and their kisses got lazy, clearly both getting tired. Mark tucked his face into Jungwoo’s neck, going over the bruises he left before as he began to roll his hips thrusting into Jungwoo as deep as he could go. 

“ _A-ah ah_ ,” Jungwoo whined, his toes curling with every thrust. Mark probably didn’t even know it but he was hitting Jungwoo’s prostate with almost every thrust now, knocking the wind right out of his lungs. 

Mark let out desperate cries as his thrusting picked up speed, “Oh my g— Jungw— You feel too good,” Mark cried, now moaning unreserved at the top of his lungs. 

“Keep going,” Jungwoo whined, “Go harder,” he shivered feeling the knots in his stomach tighten up. Mark complied and started to slam into Jungwoo, gripping the sheets above Jungwoo’s head so tight his knuckles turned ghost white. Jungwoo’s legs wrapped around Mark’s waist and his arms around Mark’s neck, he held on for dear life as he choked on air trying to take Mark’s wild thrusting. It only took a few more hard hits before Jungwoo trembled violently, screaming as Mark hit his prostate perfectly and the tightness in his tummy exploded, his orgasm rippling through him. His asshole clenched around Mark’s dick and Mark cried into Jungwoo’s neck, his hips stuttering as he started to feel his extremities go numb and the build up in his abdomen rise up until it shot through his whole body. Mark held himself tightly against Jungwoo, his dick throbbing inside Jungwoo’s clenching hole as he released his entire load, “Fuck fuck fuck fu—uck,” Mark exhaled dramatically tripping over his words. 

“Oh my God, Mark Lee you’re such a liar,” Jungwoo laughed his eyes rolling back, “You’re not bad at _anything_.”

“Fuck,” Mark collapsed on top of Jungwoo, “I love you so much.”

Jungwoo giggled at the tired out Mark laying on top of him, not caring about the mess in between them, “I love you too,” he wrapped his arms around Mark letting him rest for a little bit longer. 

“By the way, can I ask you something?” Mark asked nervously. 

“Of course, anything,” Jungwoo stroked Mark’s hair. 

“How… how is your butt so clean?” Mark lifted his head looking at Jungwoo innocently. Jungwoo burst into laughter making Mark blush once again, “Sorry, that’s a dumb question…”

“It’s not a dumb question,” Jungwoo assured despite still laughing, “I clean up in there,” He shrugged. 

“Inside?!” Mark was shocked, “Wait… did you know we’d have sex?”

“Yeah inside dummy, and no I didn’t know. I like to keep it clean just in case,” He rumbled with giggles again, “It’s a good thing right? I wouldn’t want your first time to be ruined by poop bits.”

“Gross,” Mark pushed Jungwoo gently as they both sat up, “Does that really happen?” Mark was so curious about everything to do with sex. 

“Sometimes, it’s not that bad though as long as someone isn’t a dirty weirdo. The realities of sex, amirite?” Jungwoo teased Mark with a poke to his shoulder. 

Mark laughed lightly, “Yeah I guess so, can you teach me?”

Jungwoo cocked his head, “You wanna try switching? Already?” His eyes widened with excitement. 

“Eventually, if that’s okay?” Mark twiddled his fingers nervously. 

“Fuck yes!” Jungwoo gasped, “Make sure from now on you start having fiber in your diet.”

“Fiber?” Mark squinted his eyes. 

“Don’t worry, it’ll make sense later. Come on let’s take a shower and I’ll show you how I clean,” Jungwoo scrambled off the bed. 

“Okay,” Mark smiled fondly, “Wait…”

“Hm?”

“Did— did you like my song?” Mark pursed his lips. 

“Are you serious?” Jungwoo pulled Mark in, planting a soft kiss on his lips, “I loved it. I love **_you_**.”

Mark hugged Jungwoo tightly, “Thank you,” he held on for as long as he could before pulling away and following Jungwoo to the shower. 

Finally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally 👀 amirite? Leave me your thoughts, Markwoo has my entire heart 😭❤️


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I guess I’ll just get this over with…” Mark took a deep breath, “Me and Jungwoo are dating.”

“Make sure you’re breathing Mark,” Jungwoo purred. Mark arched his back further and exhaled the breath he was holding as he felt Jungwoo drag slowly out of him. He had his head resting on his arms on the mattress, his chest down and ass up with Jungwoo behind him, slowly driving into Mark again. 

It was a whole different feeling, being on this side of things but it was still exciting. Mark knew they’d eventually get to this because it was something he was curious about trying but not so soon, not the morning after he confessed his love. As soon as they woke up they were already all over each other, giggly and tracing each other’s bruises from the night before. They were curled up into each other and before Mark knew it he was begging Jungwoo to top him. 

Jungwoo rested a hand on Mark’s lower back, massaging softly while his other hand gripped Mark’s hip tightly. Mark turned his head to muffle his moans into the pillow, there was definitely a chance some of the members were home now unlike last night. 

Jungwoo had taken his time, being as gentle as possible when he worked Mark open for almost thirty minutes but he was dragging in and out so slowly, the intensity was driving Mark crazy. He appreciated Jungwoo taking it easy on his virgin ass but he was honestly so desperate for Jungwoo’s dick that he didn’t care if he went a little harder on him. He pushed his hips backwards desperately wanting to build up the pace, it was torture not being able to come for this long already. 

“Okay,” Jungwoo whispered, sensing Mark’s desperation and increasing his speed, trying to find Mark’s sensitive spot. Mark was blubbering jumbled noises already so close to climaxing. Jungwoo grabbed on to Mark’s ass cheeks, spreading them apart slightly and gliding in as deep as he could with a grunt and by now Mark was writhing and whining louder than he should. 

“A-ah! What is that?!” Mark cried, voice caught in the mattress and hands gripping desperately into the bed sheets. 

“Your prostate,” Jungwoo panted, eyes zoning into the way Mark’s pretty hole swallowed him up so neatly, hitting him in the same spot again and again. 

“Fuck fuck f-uck,” Mark moaned, his legs shaking and his body trembling. He was unable to stop himself from coming abruptly, dick untouched, right into his sheets. 

Jungwoo was still moving his hips steadily, sending Mark into oversensitivity, “P-please” Mark sobbed and Jungwoo thrusted quicker, desperately trying to chase his own high. Mark wanted to be good and wait for Jungwoo to come regardless of the feeling increasingly becoming too much so he bit back his tears and held on tightly, gasping with every movement. 

Finally Jungwoo caved and pulled out, pumping himself with his hand and shooting his cum all over Mark’s back, covering his mouth as high pitched sounds escaped his throat. 

Mark groaned, his body twitching while Jungwoo grabbed him to help him lay down, “Sorry baby, was that too rough?” Jungwoo’s hungry, horny eyes were back to their original state; big, innocent puppy eyes. 

Mark shook his head, his brain still scrambled from all of their activity. 

“Are you sure?” Jungwoo cooed, pulling Mark into his arms. 

Mark’s head rested on Jungwoo’s bare chest and he sighed into the feeling, “It was perfect.”

Jungwoo smiled, caressing Mark’s naked body and pulling him in for soft kisses, “You're so good at everything,” he beamed. 

“I’m not,” Mark laughed, breathless, “I always ask you questions, dumb ones.”

“No, that’s what makes you good and you pay attention to every reaction.”

“You do too,” Mark breathed softly, completely tired out, “I just wish-“

“What? Did I hurt you?” Jungwoo cupped Mark’s face. 

“No,” Mark laughed, “I just wish you came inside…”

Jungwoo laughed heartily and Mark blushed as he always did when Jungwoo laughed at him. 

“Sorry, is that dirty?” Mark asked nervously. 

“No, it’s cute,” Jungwoo attacked Mark’s cheek with pecking kisses. 

“What does it feel like?”

“Hmm, it feels warm and a little ticklish, like something is filling you up. It’s kinda hot actually,” Jungwoo rubbed his chin. 

“Hmm, next time then. I wanna know,” Mark replied sleepily. 

“You wanna take a nap before we eat breakfast?” Jungwoo yawned. 

“Mmm,” is all Mark managed to respond. Even before their hookups started they always had the habit of taking naps together no matter if they’d just woken up. It was even better napping after a tiring round of sex. 

-

Mark’s stomach rumbled loudly as him and Jungwoo stirred awake, “Ugh we didn’t even clean up. I’m all sticky,” Mark groaned. 

“I have wipes,” Jungwoo reached for the packet of wipes on the dresser, helping to clean Mark’s back full of dried cum, “We can shower after breakfast.”

Mark didn’t complain, his stomach was eating itself, a shower could wait. 

“Go ahead baby, I’m going to take the sheets off. I’ll come in a bit,” Jungwoo nodded after Mark threw some clothes on. 

“Okay I’ll start you some coffee,” Mark replied as he stumbled out into the hallway where it was significantly colder. A shiver ran through his body as he snuggled his feet into his slippers and made his way to the kitchen. 

“Heyyy Mark,” Jaehyun spoke, dragging his words teasingly. Mark was taken aback, completely forgetting he lived with other people for a second. 

“Hey, I was just gonna make some coffee,” Mark squinted his eyes, the sunlight in the living room was much brighter than in his room. 

“We made coffee already,” Taeil jumped in, pointing at the freshly brewed pot. 

“Oh ok,” Mark rubbed his eyes and opened the refrigerator to pour himself some orange juice. 

“Did you not just ask about coffee?” Yuta eyed Mark. 

“Yeah for Jungwoo, I was gonna make him some. Have you guys eaten breakfast yet?” Mark glanced at the clock reading 11:42 AM, quite early for Mark to get up actually. 

“Nope, not yet,” Jaehyun smiled into his coffee. 

“Okay…” Mark paused realizing all three were following his movements closely, “What are we gonna have?”

“I’m glad you asked!” Taeil jumped up, grabbing a small box and setting it in front of Mark, the three of them still staring. 

“Uh? What is this?” Mark scrunched his face, annoyed at the smug looks his three hyungs were sporting. 

“It’s a treat for you,” Yuta smiled, pushing the box closer, “Happy birthday!”

“It’s not even close to my birthday,” Mark narrowed his eyes opening the box to see a small cake with a messy ’congratulations’ written across the top, clearly one of the members’ artistic work. 

“Congratulations on getting your cherry popped,” Jaehyun lifted his mug as if to cheers, his kitten whiskers in full display as he laughed. 

“What the fuck,” Mark groaned, covering his reddening face with his hands as the others tried to hold their laughter. 

“You know we weren’t sure if the cake was a good idea when we brought it home since we couldn’t be sure what happened last night. But lucky for us we could hear you guys going at it in the morning,” Yuta laughed following his laughter with fake gagging sounds. 

“No seriously, screaming is a bit dramatic,” Taeil wiggled his nose in disgust. 

“We don’t scream…” Mark shifted his eyes. 

“Coffeeeeee!” Jungwoo shouted at the top of his lungs, entering the kitchen with a big smile plastered on his face. The irony didn’t slip past any of them as Jaehyun, Yuta, and Taeil ripped into laughter. 

Mark lowered his head in embarrassment meanwhile Jungwoo was assuming everyone was in a great mood. 

“Ooh! What’s this?” Jungwoo eyed Mark’s cake. 

“It’s a ‘congratulations on not being a fucking virgin anymore’ cake,” Yuta smiled nonchalantly. 

“Wow! Can I have some baby?” Jungwoo laughed, pinching Mark’s cheek, clearly not as bothered as he was. 

“It’s all yours,” Mark rolled his eyes, resting his head on his folded arms on the table. 

“For real though, now that you guys are a thing you need to learn to do your business quietly,” Yuta scrunched his nose. 

“You’re just mad because your dick is dry,” Jungwoo shot back with no hesitation, devouring the cake swiftly. Mark’s jaw fell to the floor, it’s as if he’d forgotten what Jungwoo was like when someone teased him. Not many could battle him in a game of wits except for maybe Haechan. 

“Or maybe I’m just a normal human who doesn’t like to hear his roommates fucking like animals,” Yuta scowled. 

“Go get some pussy or ass and stop listening to us, you pervert,” Jungwoo retorted with his hand in the air, the statement making Jaehyun spit his drink everywhere. 

Yuta shot Jungwoo the middle finger before grabbing a spoonful of cake himself. 

“Please stop talking about this. We’ll keep it down, I promise,” Mark rubbed his temples. 

“Or you guys could invest into headphones,” Jungwoo laughed, bringing his spoon up to feed Mark some cake, who ate begrudgingly and only because he really was starving. 

“Dude we got you a cake, the least you could do is be a little more quiet,” Jaehyun replied calmly wiping the counter. 

“Okay,“ Jungwoo said between mouthfuls, “Only because it’s really good,” Jungwoo agreed easily. 

Yes they were annoying but at least this meant they took the news of Mark and Jungwoo being an item well. There were quite a few more people who would want to know what happened and half of Mark dreaded talking about it only because he knew the teasing that would lie ahead and because he was so easily embarrassed. But at least the hard part was over. Nothing was too scary, Mark took comfort in knowing how safe and in love he felt with Jungwoo. 

-

“Oh… hey,” Mark greeted awkwardly as he entered the fifth floor dorm not expecting so many members to all be gathered in the living room space. He thought he’d quickly stop by and thank Yangyang and Haechan for helping him with his special night. 

“Oh Mark Lee,” Haechan grabbed his arm to pull him to sit next to him, “I hope you’re ready to spill everything because you’re not escaping us until you do,” he smirked with an evil glint in his eye. 

“Uh…” Mark looked around to see curious eyes from Yangyang, Johnny, Ten, Doyoung, and Taeyong. 

“I don’t think we even have to ask, you’re glowing Mark,” Yangyang giggled. 

“What happened?” Doyoung was out of the loop as usual. 

“I guess I’ll just get this over with…” Mark took a deep breath, “Me and Jungwoo are dating.”

Yangyang and Haechan clapped excitedly while Taeyong, Doyoung, and Ten were left speechless and Johnny nodded waiting for Mark to explain. 

“So… you guys know we’ve always been close- and I’m- well we-,” Mark stuttered. 

“They started hooking up and fell in love,” Haechan explained matter of factly. 

“What? For how long? And why didn’t you tell me?” Ten raised his voice. 

“Oh just like you told me about you and Johnny?” Mark pushed back, raising his eyebrow. 

The blood drained from Ten’s face as everyone’s heads whipped to face him. 

“Dude,” Johnny warned between gritted teeth. 

“I called that!” Haechan raised his hand. 

“I- that’s different,” Ten stuttered, his usual confidence wavered. 

“Me and Jungwoo have only been messing around for a few weeks but you guys hid it for more than a year so you can’t be mad at me!” Mark was unusually brave today, never daring to challenge his hyungs. 

“A year?!” Taeyong piped in. 

“You better shut up! While you two are sitting over there with COUPLE RINGS,” Ten spout back pointing at Doyoung and Taeyong. 

“Didn’t I fucking say?!” Haechan threw his arms up. 

“It’s not- no,” Doyoung panicked while Taeyong’s mouth fell open with no sounds coming out. 

“You guys are in each other’s rooms ALL THE TIME!” Haechan was shouting now. 

“Johnny why are you so calm? Did you know about this?” Ten asked accusingly. 

“Everybody calm down,” Yangyang stepped into the middle, arms up as if he was stopping a fight. Everyone stopped, “We’ll speak one at a time.”

Haechan raised his hand lowering his tone, “I would just like to say that I, for one, am not that surprised. However it would have been nice for you guys to tell me when I was having a meltdown about being gay and dating a member when all the while you guys were doing the same thing,” Haechan stuck his nose in the air. 

Yangyang nodded along seemingly agreeing, “Yeah my poor babe thought you guys were all heteros,” He patted Haechan’s hair comfortingly. 

“Maybe your gaydar is just broken,” Ten shot back, arms crossed. 

“Well I’m not gay,” Doyoung spoke up. Everyone including Taeyong gave him a confused look. 

“Have I been misreading your signals?” Taeyong pouted his lips, “I thought it was obvious when you gave me a ring and put your d—“ Doyoung slapped his hand over Taeyong’s mouth before he could continue. 

“There’s kids here,” Doyoung warned, wide eyed. 

“We’re all adults,” Haechan rolled his eyes, “We don’t need the details anyway,” he gagged dramatically. 

“In my defense, I did say we have a million members and it was bound to happen…” Doyoung slumped over, giving up. 

“Remember when I said we should socialize with other people…” Mark leaned back on his arms, “People are gonna think we’re a bunch of incestuous gays.”

“Ew Mark, we’re not related,” Johnny shot him a disgusted look. 

“Close enough though,” Mark laughed. 

“Glad to see you’re not stressed anymore,” Johnny replied mockingly. 

“It’s because he’s finally getting laid,” Haechan chuckled smugly. 

Mark didn’t even try to deny it, he just shrugged, “So… quadruple date anybody?” Mark offered as everyone else laughed. 

“I hate it. This is weird,” Ten half joked, picking at the snacks on the table. 

“Wait… I just realized… half of 127 are the culprits,” Haechan was in awe. 

“The gayest unit,” Yangyang nodded casually. 

_“What-“_ Haechan squinted. 

“That’s what Winwin said once,” Yangyang shrugged. 

“What?!” Mark squeaked. 

“I always thought he was kidding,” Yangyang laughed. 

“Well it’s not a lie,” Ten laughed, the others joining except for Doyoung who rolled his eyes. 

-

Mark stretched out completely on the couch once the older members had left, getting more comfortable, not paying much attention to the movie Haechan had put on. 

He craned his neck at the sound of Yangyang’s stifled giggles to see him sitting between Haechan’s legs while Haechan wrapped his arms around him and attacked his neck with aggressive pecking. 

“Stop—,” Yangyang giggled again trying to break out of Haechan’s hold on him. 

“I’m just trying to love you!” Haechan whined feigning innocence. 

“No you’re not, you’re tickl— ah! Haechan stop—“ Yangyang wriggled. 

“You guys sicken me,” Mark huffed. 

“Shit you scared me, I thought you were asleep,” Haechan clutched his chest, finally releasing Yangyang who escaped his arms to sit closer to Mark. 

“Hey I know you probably didn’t want to talk to your hyungs about it but you’ll tell us what happened, right?” Yangyang studied Mark curiously. 

“What do you mean? I already told you guys,” Mark sighed stretching his arms above his head. 

“No I want the details,” Yangyang rested his head with his hands under his chin, staring at Mark. 

Mark’s cheeks flushed as Haechan came closer too, “What- what do you guys wanna know?”

“An exact play by play of last night,” Haechan’s face was dead serious. 

“Why do you guys wanna know?” Mark groaned, rubbing his eyes. 

“Because we’re best friends, duh,” Haechan snorted. 

“Hey, remember when you guys didn’t talk to me for a couple of weeks?” Mark smirked, looking up as if he was reminiscing. 

“Because YOU were an asshole, remember that part?” Haechan pushed back, Mark only laughed in response. 

“Stop stalling and tell us,” Yangyang poked Mark’s shoulder. 

“Ugh fine,” Mark shifted from the couch to sit on the floor next to them, “Okay, so I lit the candles and got his present ready. Then Jungwoo came home and the food came so we ate and then I said ‘yo, wanna be my boyfriend?’ and he said ‘sure’ and then we high-fived and went to sleep,” Mark folded his lips in looking up to see Haechan squinting his eyes and annoyed while Yangyang laughed. 

“You know, I could just ask Jungwoo and I’m sure he’ll be extra detailed,” Haechan warned. 

“Okay… fine fine,” Mark pinched the bridge of his nose sighing, “So I set the song up ready to play like you guys said and fixed the lighting and stuff…”

“Uh huh,” Haechan leaned forward completely engrossed. 

“So then he came home and we hung out for a bit and ate dinner and then he got comfortable laying on me so I decided to give him his present and he of course thought it was super cute and then…”

“Mhm,” Yangyang encouraged Mark to continue. 

“Uh and then I kissed him-“

“Ah!” Haechan squealed. 

“Babe calm down, I wanna hear the story,” Yangyang hushed, eyes still locked on Mark. 

“And then he said we shouldn’t kiss anymore because he was starting to fall for me so I told him I feel the same except I’m not falling, I’m already in love…”

“Awww,” Haechan and Yangyang reacted in unison. 

Mark laughed nervously, scratching his neck, “Yeah so then I showed him the song and he kind of cried… and then you know,” Mark gulped and shrugged. 

“Continue,” Haechan nodded. 

“Um do you really wanna know _everything_?” Mark twitched his nose. 

“Yes,” Haechan and Yangyang answered together. 

“So… we both said we love each other and you know,” Mark fanned himself trying to avoid eye contact, “Um you know we-“

“Mark, we already know you guys had sex, it’s the details we want,” Haechan rolled his eyes. 

“Why? That’s weird,” Mark coughed. 

“No it’s not, normal best friends talk about this stuff,” Haechan shrugged. 

“It’s fine,” Yangyang smiled, pulling Haechan back, “You don’t need to talk about it if you don’t want to,” Yangyang reassured. 

“Well… actually. Maybe you guys can help me…” Mark rubbed his chin in thought. 

“With what?” Haechan’s eyes went wide. 

“So we did the thing… and again in the morning. Obviously it was my first time and also most of the sexual things I’ve ever done have been with Jungwoo so I don’t really know, like, what’s normal I guess…”

“Were you uncomfortable?” Haechan softened. 

“No! Never! Jungwoo always makes sure I’m okay. I just wonder if what we do is normal.”

“Oh, then what does it matter? As long as you’re having fun and feel safe then just do what you want,” Haechan smiled softly. 

“Don’t tell me you’re into some weird bdsm shit,” Yangyang scrunched his nose. 

“Babe you slap my ass all the time,” Haechan pointed out. 

Yangyang’s face flushed red, “That’s not the same as bdsm dumbass and I said WEIRD bdsm.”

“I’m guessing we’re pretty mild compared to the weird stuff out there,” Mark chuckled, “I just meant like I don’t know what’s the normal amount to be doing stuff… you know? I just think about it all the time and wanna be all over him. That's why I figured I’d come over here for a bit to give my body a break.”

Haechan giggled and hit Mark’s leg, “That’s super normal, you’re in the honeymoon phase. And you’re also figuring sex out so of course it’s exciting and you wanna try stuff out. Don’t worry at all,” Haechan gave a thumbs up. 

“Are you sore?” Yangyang teased. 

“Kind of,” Mark snorted, rubbing his neck. 

“You have hickeys EVERYWHERE dude,” Yangyang pointed. 

“Also… the first time I was um you know, top or whatever and then the next morning I was… “ Mark cleared his throat. 

“Bottom?” Yangyang offered. 

“Really Mark, it’s okay to say words. Don’t be so shy about it,” Haechan laughed teasingly. 

“Yeah… bottom,” Mark continued, “And then top again… before I came over.”

“Oh shit, three times? Damn dude, you might need to chill a bit,” Haechan raised his eyebrows in surprise. 

“Anyways… is that weird?” Mark dropped his gaze. 

“Being a horn dog for your boyfriend that you love and just confessed to? No, literally that’s the most normal thing,” Haechan rolled his eyes. 

“No I mean the positions, is that normal? Or healthy?”

“Switching you mean?” Yangyang asked. 

“Yeah…”

“It’s not weird, me and Haechan switch,” Yangyang replied nonchalantly. 

“Really?” Mark widened his eyes. 

“Yeah and if you’re worried about it being healthy it doesn’t matter how often you guys do it, just as long as you’re taking care of yourself. You know, making sure you’re clean before and after,” Yangyang explained. 

“And don’t be so worried about being normal, every couple differs so just make sure you guys are being safe and smart and that’s all that matters really,” Haechan added. 

“Okay thank you,” Mark exhaled deeply, “And sorry I’m so awkward talking about it.”

“No worries, we’re just happy that you’re happy and that it all worked out!” Yangyang grinned. 

“Yes we love you Mark, but all this talk has got me in the mood for a shower, come on babe,” Haechan stood up pulling Yangyang with him. 

“A shower?” Yangyang questioned innocently. 

“Damn okay, you’re just gonna leave me here?” Mark laughed in disbelief. 

“See ya Marrrrk,” Haechan waved, disappearing into the hallway. 

Mark waved back, rolling his eyes and took a deep breath. 

Finally things felt like they were falling into place and it definitely felt better that he was able to talk to his members about it and everyone being accepting of their relationship comforted Mark. He’d only been gone a few hours but he suddenly missed Jungwoo and quickly jumped to his feet to get back to his own dorm. To his boyfriend. Mark smiled to himself, he loved the sound of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know y’all are probably over this story by now, sorry if this chapter is cringe lol thought I’d throw in some humor about realities and curiosities we go through when we’re new to things. Will wrap up soon, leave me your thoughts!


	11. Chapter 11

“I love you,” Jungwoo sighed against Mark’s cheek, moving his lips just slightly to press a lazy kiss where his breath tickled Mark. 

Mark sighed with pure happiness, he laid on his back with an arm around Jungwoo as he pulled him closer. Jungwoo pressed close to Mark’s side, his nose tucked by Mark’s ear and arm and leg thrown over his body. 

“I love you too,” he whispered back, turning to kiss Jungwoo’s nose. 

“Thank you,” Jungwoo’s tone was soft, almost as if he was asleep. 

“For what?” Mark cocked his head, running his fingers through Jungwoo’s hair. 

“For loving me,” Jungwoo sighed again. 

Mark turned his body to fully face Jungwoo cupping his face in his hands and pressing a soft kiss on his lips, “Loving you is the easiest thing in the world,” Mark kissed Jungwoo’s forehead, “I hope you know how crazy I am about you.”

“It feels like a dream sometimes,” Jungwoo whispered, his eyes fluttering open, “I loved you for so long, I never thought you’d be mine.”

“How long?” Mark’s heart ached, he wished he could turn back time knowing what he knows now. 

“Almost as long as I’ve known you,” Jungwoo shivered, “Maybe it wasn’t love back then but I always wanted to be close to you… hold your hand at least…”

“I wish I could go back,” Mark shook with his words, leaning into Jungwoo and the warmth of the bedsheets more. 

“Me too sometimes, but maybe it was meant to be this way, maybe there were things we had to learn before we could be together and be good for each other,” Jungwoo pondered. 

Mark nodded, “Yeah I definitely had to grow up… I’m sorry it took so long,” he stroked Jungwoo’s cheek. 

“Don’t be sorry,” Jungwoo cuddled close rubbing his nose against Mark’s, “I get to kiss you all the time now, it was worth the wait.”

Mark giggled cupping Jungwoo’s face and kissing him, first softly and then deeper as his fingers crept to the back of Jungwoo’s neck, caressing the skin softly. Mark inhaled noisily, unwilling to break their contact to breathe properly and pressed even harder making Jungwoo release a tiny high pitched sound from the back of his throat. Finally Mark pulled away stroking Jungwoo’s bright pink cheeks again. 

“Wow yeah, definitely worth it,” Jungwoo exhaled with a laugh. 

Mark couldn’t help to stare and admire Jungwoo’s beauty, he was in awe that this beautiful boy could be in love with him. He didn’t feel like he was good enough to be with someone so perfect sometimes. He’d question his own looks and insecurities would fill his mind only for a short time because as soon as Jungwoo had his hands on him he made him feel like the most beautiful person in the world. The way Jungwoo would kiss him from head to toe and praise him softly the whole time would make Mark’s confidence shoot through the sky. In every aspect Jungwoo lifted him up whether it was in the middle of a writing session or when Mark was stressed and needed encouragement, he was always there to support, encourage, and love Mark. 

“You know, you talk like you’re the lucky one but it’s me that’s lucky,” Mark smiled lovingly, “You love me in every way possible and I don’t deserve it.”

“You do Mark! You deserve the whole world,” Jungwoo attacked Mark’s cheek with violent pecks. 

“You do too, I hope I make you feel the way you make me feel,” Mark lasered his eyes into Jungwoo’s, “You’re not just my boyfriend, you’re my best friend… I don’t think I’ve ever been this vulnerable with anyone.”

“Don’t worry one bit about that baby, you make me feel on top of the world. I’ve never been this open with anyone either. I know you think I’ve had a lot of experience but I really haven’t. I’ve never even been in love… until you,” Jungwoo stared back, just as intensely. 

“Really?” Mark bit his lip. 

“Yes, really,” Jungwoo laughed into Mark’s mouth, kissing him again but more playfully. Mark giggled back as Jungwoo moved his kisses to Mark’s neck, tickling and teasing him between each kiss. 

Looking back it was funny how only weeks ago Mark was so unsure of things but now he was absolutely certain of the answer to the question Haechan had posed before.   
**‘Can you imagine not being with them?’**  
There’s no way he could ever imagine not being with Jungwoo, cuddling him every night, helping each other with everyday struggles and loving each other in every way possible. Jungwoo was the only one he wanted to figure life out with, the only person he wanted to explore his entire body and figure out every button that turns him on. Nothing seemed as scary anymore. Even the big things like worrying about what people would think about him being with another guy. There were so many worries that seemed like a huge deal before but he totally understood now when Yangyang said ‘Love is what makes it worth it’. He knew challenges were bound to come their way but he also knew that now he could be brave enough to overcome and fight for what he wanted. 

“Don’t ever let me go,” Mark peered into Jungwoo’s eyes, a hint of worry rising in him that he’d find doubt inside of them but Jungwoo didn’t look away or give Mark any reason to waver. 

“Never,” Jungwoo smiled, surrounding Mark with his warmth and massaging him with his soothing touches, “Never ever, my love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah this chapter didn’t need to exist but I just wanted to reiterate their love. Hope you enjoyed! I’m going to write Johnten next 💕💖✨  
> As always, thank you so much for reading. It means a lot to me, I put some of my own fears and insecurities into their stories and I hope if you guys relate too that you can find comfort in knowing you’re not alone. Love you!


End file.
